2019,

“Slow down you crazy child. You’re so ambitious for a juvenile. Slow down you’re doing fine. You can’t be everything you want to be before your time” 

It has been awhile since we last talked. A lot has changed since but at the same time, a lot hasn’t. It took a lot in me to start writing this. I don’t know if I have mentioned this even in the previous year end post but I haven’t written in so long. Aside from tweets and Instagram captions, I haven’t really been writing. I wasn’t sure if I was ever gonna come back here. I think a part of me has grown creatively throughout the past year that I express myself better in creating videos. I’m drawn to making video content rather than writing. It’s easier, faster, less brain cells needed. But if you’re reading this now, I guess I decided to post. It has already been a tradition to come here and write at the end of the year anyway. I am quite uncomfortable with sharing my feelings online now that I’m 21 but it’s whatever!!! Here goes nothing. Whatever might be written after this paragraph, know that it‘s still me and I am writing from the bottom of my heart. Even if I was gone for a long time, I’m still the Erika who posted here every week since I was 12.  But do keep in mind this is also the Erika who stepped away from this blog last year and grew. She’s someone who hasn’t really been introduced here. But for the latter version, I hope you welcome her like you did with the first ever version of Erika you read on this blog.

Well you’re in for a treat, shishters. This was 2019.

Just after ringing in the new year, I spent the first few hours of January 1st talking to friends and just catching up, wishing them a good year ahead. It went on until 4AM. From what I recall, I slept around 6 and woke up at 3PM. What a way to enter the new year, am I right?! Anyway, I got the flu a week in the new year. Sooo again, what a way to enter the new year! Okay who am I kidding I’m literally not doing a weekly recap of this year. That’s too much my 2 functioning brain cells could barely think of the following word to put after another word so I’m 100% sure they can’t recall every single thing that happened in the past 54 weeks. Okay since this is the last year end post of this decade, let’s make more fun HAHAHA.

QUARTER 1: Plans & Visions (Jan – Mar)

•Vision Board 

visionboard19.jpg

This is my vision board for this year. Spoiler alert: most of my visions were really just visions, it never put into plan, it was never materialized.  Well whatever. HAHA. Are you already getting the feel of what happened to me this year? Hang in there. We’re just in bullet #1 for the first quarter.

•the trip that changed it all

Early February, I had an out of town trip. It’s one of the longest trips I’ve had in awhile. This trip pretty much sealed the deal. I wanted to move to a bigger city for my career. I’ve always wanted to. It used to be a dream as a teen but as years passed by, it slowly became a goal to move away. This trip had a purpose, it wasn’t only a shopping trip. This trip helped me know more about myself and my goals. Not only did it spark of achieving my goal, it also sparked something else. It’s in the next bullet.

•creativity is slowly coming back 

Creativity is something that I’ve always had in me. It’s an innate trait. I think it really has to do with my status of being an only child. I had to play by myself most of the time growing up so I literally had to think of ways to entertain myself daily.  By the end of the first half of my junior year, I felt like my creativity has been drained. My major subjects really sucked all of it. By the last part of my senior year, I didn’t have the drive anymore to give my best. I just wanted to graduate so everything, every output I passed was mediocre. Anyway, creativity is very important to me. It’s needed in art, film, writing — all of which I’m very drawn to. I was quite lost without it for awhile so I’m glad I got it back early this year. I’ve decided to do a series on my Instagram called “Scenes from a fake coming of age indie film”. It’s just a bunch of video clips I have on my camera roll that I edit and compress it into 15 seconds. That’s all. I’d like to think I am the David Dobrik of Instagram Stories HAHAHAHA. I just don’t get the point of posting 3 or more stories, when you can post just one or two with substance. Just go straight to the point. Anyway you do you. That’s just me and I’ll keep doing me (that sounds… off. But okay let’s move on). Getting back creativity or at least a chunk of it really helped me get back into being myself and helping myself like me again. At the same time, it helped me catapult myself ~out there~. More on this later.

•finding out what i want to pursue in life

This happened in March. After countless of afternoons laying on my bed listening to Empire of The Sun, there was a certain afternoon I just decided I wanted to pursue Marketing as a career. Not in Sales, but in Digital Marketing. I hope so. Typing this out scared me because literally anything I put out into this blog and anything I share to anyone or when I claim something, never really happens. I don’t have a back up plan when this goes wrong, so idk idk ?!!!! But I love the e-comm field. I truly believe it’s gonna give me a stable career because we are already in a digital age. It’s gonna be much more digital soon enough.

Also, I hung out with the remaining high school and college friends I have here at home, and I did it as much as I could because they already found work/were already working during that time. I think it’s the most I’ve spent time with them outside school.It’s really weird that I used to see them everyday and we’d share the same experiences on the daily but now it’s just weird and fun to listen to their stories in work. I like how my friends would make me feel like we were officemates. Not much has changed between the dynamic of my friends and I. I’m scared it might soon especially in the next decade. But I’m glad it hasn’t happened yet and I’m very grateful for that.

In the first quarter, I also made a LinkedIn account and started searching for jobs/internships HAHA. Well, stay tuned how it ended! 🙂

QUARTER 2: Driving & Leaving (Apr-June)

•getting student permit and learning how to drive

I don’t know if I ever mentioned it here, but I’ve been wanting to drive ever since college. I just couldn’t find the time to go to driving lessons. But finally had the time and enough courage to learn how to drive. Honestly, one of the best decisions I’ve done this year and one of the highlights!!! Yaa gurl finally knows how to drive!!!! I almost crashed like on the first day of lessons but let’s not talk about that HAHAHAHA.

Truly, doing it afraid is just as brave 🙂

•stepping ~out there~ 

I challenged myself to use Instagram as a platform, as a medium to help express myself and to challenge my creativity a lot more. Like what I’ve said earlier, I’ve been doing curated IG stories. And I just enjoy theeem heehee. I also made a second Instagram, more of a dump account/an online portfolio of some sort just so I can step out of my comfort zone a lil bit by showing a part of my life not even my closest friends have seen before.

This quarter, I was slowly getting pressured because friends are getting jobs & slowly fulfilling their dreams :(((( but again, their timeline isn’t mine. What is theirs, is for them. What is mine, will always be mine and not for anyone else.

The sunsets this time of year were so sooo vivid. It was beauUutiful. See some of them on my year end vid!

•start to edit passion project 

Around March, I started editing (again) my passion project. It’s basically just clips from my senior year of college, some of the highlights and behind the scenes of what went on on my last academic year ever. The first draft ever was done October last year, only to be completed and released a year later.

•on leaving hometown:

Moving away for college didn’t happen. So maybe moving away for work might happen. You see, my hometown is currently too slow for me. Do not get me wrong, I love my hometown. So much. I love the convenience, I love the safety, I love the comfort. Comfort. It has became my comfort zone so that’s why I haven’t felt growth since graduating. But I feel like I have already peaked here and there’s literally nothing to do here. There’s something more out there, somewhere else, something else for me. There has to be. Most of my friends have already moved out and I’m one of the few OGs left. This was something that was very difficult for me to understand. I was the one who kept telling people I’m going to leave this city soon. But here we are, it’s December and I’m still here.

QUARTER 3: Birthdays & Being Stuck Sucks (July-Sept)

•EGGCHELLA the weeklong celebration 

I turned 21 this year and found out it was my golden birthday!!! Like when you turn the same age as your birthdate. So I turned 21 on the 21st. I celebrated an entire week and named it Eggchella HAHAHA like coachella, but my version. Anyway it was just a wholesome celebration. Just a bunch of brunches, lunches and dinners with friends. Since some of them were working and some were still in school, I had to do multiple celebrations that’s why it was a weeklong. It was supposed to be just a birthday salubong but it ended up as a birthweek salubong. Anyway, it was rly fun. It was the first time I celebrated with friends, the last time was when I turned 17. And half of those who came to that celebration, I don’t even get to talk to anymore hHAHAUAHAHA. Not because we have bad blood or anything, but literally we drifted apart and we don’t get to catch up. And you know what, that’s okay. Knowing them, I know they’re nice and I know we’ll keep it chill when we get to reunite (?) HUAHAHA idek ok anywayyy. My birthday like my birthday itself, I just celebrated with fam. It was nice. Then I did a DIY photoshoot for myself. Like I had to rearrange my entire room just so I could get a good pic!!!

By August, it rained for a week long. Like ?!?? Not normal rain, intense monsoon rain. Idk that caused my serotonin to drop immensely.

•In the quarter, I also experienced about the struggles of bein an entrepreneur. Sometimes, sales tend to drop a lot haha. So you have to work it out and just wish for the best. Anyway, that’s all I’m gonna share for now. I’m not ready to share that yet to the world.

the feeling of being stagnant, being left behind. not being enough. becoming frustrated that im stuck in this phase in life. Is this an endless gap year?!? Honestly, I’ve already explained this earlier. This is a reoccurring theme this year, it’s still an unresolved problem. Anyway, whenever I start wanting to apply for a job, something in my personal life happens or at least I get little boosts of motivation then it fades away. I truly think self-doubt and self-rejection are reasons why I cant get my shit together or at least why it’s taking a long time to fix my life. This prompted me to be tired of doing nothing but I can’t do anything about it. I don’t know I guess I was too sad and scared to try to get a job HAUAHAH 😦 idk

•adulting thingz 

Went to a bunch of gov’t offices so I could get IDs because my old college ID isn’t valid anymore and the only ID I have is my passport. Lol. So there. We did a lil adulting adventure.

QUARTER 4: Believing & Growing 

•my 2 old friends visited: Loss & Grief. The last time Loss & Grief visited me was in 2013 when my grandfather passed. This time, it was my grandmother. Loss and Grief aren’t bad friends, they’re good old friends who pay a visit every now and then. Just to check on things. Just to give you both comfort and discomfort at the same time, at least that’s how I see it. Their visit this time was a little too intense for my liking. The last time Loss & Grief were present, I was only 15. I’m 21 now and things have changed. Grief is the more prominent friend. She likes to stay even after Loss has gone. She’s the one who likes spontaneity. Loss likes to be spontaneous too, sometimes announces when he’s coming as soon as he shows up, he doesn’t really stay as long. There’s also one more friend who I found out visits at the same time. Acceptance. She just shows up as soon as Loss appears, at certain cases Acceptance shows up when you already understand everything, or at least try to. Loss, Grief and Acceptance are complex, but there comes a point that you just have to understand them. When they appear, you just have to welcome them. They’re all part of Real Life. I’m just comforted to know my grandma is resting in a much better place. I already said this before but I’m saying it again and I’ll never stop saying it, I’m just very very grateful and blessed she became my grandmother in this lifetime. Very very much grateful for her, and everything she has given and done for me and the rest of the family and everyone she knew in her lifetime. Nothing but gratitude for my grandma and for Him 🙂

I think from what happened in this quarter, I have come to realize that 2019 really rEeally put me in my place. It sat me down and made sure I learned and made me experience things. It brought me back my belief in God, in the universe, in every single principle I had. It brought me back humility, made sure I got shaken up so I could experience growth differently, in a way I haven’t yet.

Every season has a reason. I think I partly understand now why I had this type of season in life but I just haven’t figured out everything yet. Everything’s going to reveal itself in time. Aahhh yes, in Time. His Time. I can’t answer all the questions I have in my heart but I’m sure time will show me everything. It will help me resolve most that hasn’t been yet. This season, above all, taught me the concept of obeying, trusting and surrendering.

Another takeaway from this year is finding out that I could already dance to a song I used to cry to. That is progress.

So, 2020? I don’t know too scared to even talk about you. I was scared of 2019 too, and every year before that. But you know what!!!! I’m still here. I’m still alive. By the grace of God, I’m okay.

Do i just give up this big dream and settle for something less. Maybe settling for something less would lead me to where I’m meant to be? Will I move out anytime soon? Will I finally get a job offer? Do I finally get to see what the world has to offer me? Will I finally make someone fall in love with me? What lies ahead?!? I honestly don’t know. HAHAHA. But you know what!!!! Whatever is for me, will never pass me. It will never be someone else’s because it will be just mine.

I really think my plans had to fall apart to make space for bigger and better things, things that are truly for me. With that being said, ooof, 2019. You’ve given me so much, birthday cakes, Zesto tetra packs, Kenny Rogers, karaoke giggles, “People who cut me in line” stories, and better Instagram content. You were something else, 2019. Thanks for being something else.

Thank You for making me grow. You have never left through it all. Thank You for giving me Your time to listen to me. Thank You for listening to me even if some nights my crying was louder than my prayers. Thank You for understanding when I didn’t pray enough. Thank You for always welcoming me back no matter how much time has passed. Thank You for giving me this season. It wasn’t what I wanted, but it for sure was something I needed. Thank You. Please help me, guide me always. It’s what I need the most.

2020, let me. Just let me. Let me believe again in myself so I could make things happen.  Let me sparkle the way I am meant to.

I guess, that’s all for now.

 

ENDER14

year end playlist 2019

just a playlist !!! btw my top artist on spotify wrapped this year is ABBA lol. anyway super short, i think some monthly playlists are longer! it’s because i already put songs i like directly to playlists on spotify (dis isn’t a spotify sponsored post bc i keep talking about it lol but wish it was!)

show me what im looking for – carolina liar

magic in the hamptons – social house, lil yachty

boys do fall in love – robin gibb

monument (kasbo remix) – mutemath

chrysalis – empire of the sun

new york – urban cone

gooey – glass animals

berkeley – plastic picnic

running back to you – for the foxes ft. allison weiss

black lemon – generationals

perfect places – lorde

summer girl – HAIM

now im in it – HAIM

lose it – SWMRS

mr. telephone – the mowgli’s

december 1963 – frankie valli & the four seasons

1922 – box the oxford

sparks – beach house

to her door – empire of the sun

benzos and cigarettes – rad horror

seeing stars – BØRNS

fallingwater – maggie rogers

hold your fire – bad suns

on melancholy hill – gorillaz

neon moon – cigarettes after sex

the dream song – nathan reich

all – cherub ft natalie prass

dancing queen – ABBA

purple candy – new friends

norway – the brummies

cornelia street – taylor swift

does your mother know – ABBA

vienna – billy joel

in the arms of a stranger – mike posner

im so tired – lauv, troye sivan

chateau – angus & julia stone

witchlove – nico yaryan

i wear glasses – mating ritual

fall of ‘82 – the shins

this must be the place – sure sure

we are golden – MIKA

when the summer ends – savoir adore

sunshine & lust are no longer enough – luna luna

psychic reader – bad bad hats

ready for you – hunter hunted

chicagoland – magic man

light on – maggie rogers

saltwater – geowulf

youth – glass animals

“99” – barns courtney

passenger – noah kahan

dirty af1s – alexander 23

beige – yoke lore

too long – arlie

1994 – the vernes

together in electric dreams – phil oakey,  giorgio moroder

are you bored yet – wallows, clairo

bad dream – american pets

baby blue – rence

rollercoaster – FLORACENE

all i know – juscova

girl – jukebox the ghost

do you believe in magic? – the lovin spoonful

carry me away – john mayer

the less i know the better – tame impala

uncomfortable – wallows

next to you – john vincent iii

homesick – catfish and the bottlemen

1000 nights – frenship

/// – covey

oceans away – ARIZONA

cherry – harry styles

someone to lose – ashe

happiness is a butterfly – lana del rey

life in the city – the lumineers

cig – baby fuzZ

another state – tigers in the sky

love you for a long time – maggie rogers

sunflower vol. 6 – harry styles

real estate – adam melchor

seventeen – haley blais

orphans – coldplay

boy toy – STRFKR

sunny somewhere – reuben fillies

back in my body – maggie rogers

ENDER14

For 2018

2018. Where do I even begin. I know I’ve been gone for the entire year, I didn’t blog for the whole 2018. I don’t want to explain further but I guess life just happened. I got caught up with the demands of school and life so I didn’t get to blog. I didn’t have words, I didn’t have time to even think of the combination of words to describe what was happening to me. I tried my best to do a comeback month after month. “Maybe just a playlist”, “An update post to inform everyone I’m very much alive”, the drafts of those are still on my phone none of them would ever see the light of day.

Honestly, I couldn’t write because I lost words. Later on, I realized I was the one who was lost. Like 95% of the time this year, I was lost. And the 5% were the times I thought I wasn’t, but I really was. I didn’t know who I was anymore especially after graduation. I was labeled for 12 years as a student, but soon after graduating, I wasn’t a student in school anymore. I now have become a student of life. And that transition was so difficult. I’m still going through the transition phase of it right now.

Maybe this would be the shortest year end post because I don’t feel like writing. I feel like this is such a bold move because I, surprisingly, have a hard time of sharing my feelings now that I’m a bit older. Especially on the interwebs HAHAHAHA.  But like all other years that went by, I’m gonna share the little and big things I learned throughout this year. I’ve already started this tradition so I have to go with it.

At the beginning of the year, I learned how to wait. What was I waiting for? Nothing. Something. Anything. Everything. Sometimes I was waiting for one of them, sometimes all of them all at once. That was overwhelming, in all honesty. I learned how to be patient, to wait for my turn. To wait for my timing.

Everyone already started their internships, while I was stuck waiting for the longest time for mine. I only applied to one company and I stuck by it because I wanted it. I wanted it so bad, that in my mind and heart that if I didn’t get it, I would drop the subject and extend for another sem. My turn didn’t come until mid March when everyone was about to finish their 300 hours. I didn’t care I wanted it. I was so happy when I finally got my phone interview. The confirmation e-mail brought me so much joy, finally my prayers were getting answered. I started it March, and finished it by May. It was alright I guess but I learned so so much from my internship, not only in my field but so much as a person. Which brings me to the next lesson, kindness.

I’ve seen people go do the lowest of lows a person could do just to get what they want. They screamed foul words, reacted unpleasantly towards their fellow humans. I’ve seen people be so cold that they become toxic to everyone around them. I know everyone has a battle, or have lost a battle, that’s why they’re like that. A professor in college once said, “we are all victims of the past”. Like me, like you, like them, we have experienced something in the past that changed our views, maybe for the better or for worse.  That’s why we are the people we are now. But kindness in whatever way expressed is very important, it is vital. To me, it cancels out negativity, toxic things in the world. Just a few kind words could change someones day, even their views on life.

Morgan Harper Nichols’ words, helped me get through this year. I only found out about her words after my struggles of the first half of 2018 was over. It was life changing.“In the waiting, I am still growing” stuck with me. And for that, I am grateful for her words.

Anyway, like all the other years I have grown so much as a person but it may have not seemed like it. But I did. I am no longer the girl who posted the year ender last year. I’m completely different. I read somewhere, “when you ask God for growth, don’t be surprised when it starts to rain”. I asked Him specifically to grow this year. And when ~bad things~ started happening to me, I didn’t know what to do. Later on, I realized those ~bad things~ weren’t as bad as all. It was making me ready, it was making me grow. I shifted to “gratitude over attitude” mindset and tbh it helped me the most. Rather than complaining about the situation that I was in, I began to be thankful that I was in that situation no matter how bad or unlucky it was. Becoming grateful so so sOoo much has been life changing. It has been something I’ve been working in for so long, and it’s still something I’m working on.

I have finally accepted this year that I’m still a work in progress. I haven’t figured out everything yet. I’m this speck of dust who doesn’t know her place yet in this universe. And that’s fine not to have everything figured out. It’s fine to take it one day at a time. You have to drown the negative thoughts and all the doubts from others and from yourself, especially from yourself. At the end of the day, all you have is yourself. You’re stuck with yourself forever. You have to nurture yourself inside and out. You have to tick all the boxes from your to-do list but if you couldn’t tick a handful of them, please know that it is okay. Again, one day at a time. One goal at a time.

I’m very very veRY grateful for everything that has happened to me this year. Maybe this year was the year that I’ve become most grateful and I’m bringing that kind of energy in the coming years. I am grateful for all the songs I’ve listened to that made me feel alive and for the songs that made me feel like I’m in a coming of age film. I am grateful for all the opportunities I had this year; from my internship in my dream company, going to Harry Styles’ concert with a rad friend (hehe the pun doe), graduating college, to a small, humble business I put up this year with some family members. I am one blessed egg and sometimes I fail to see that. Which I know I shouldn’t. I pray that I am always reminded that there are so many things to be grateful for. And there are so many things to still experience, many feelings to feel. I hope to heal. I hope to find genuine happiness. I still hope to grow and finally bloom. I hope to see not only sunrises, but also sunsets; beautiful ones and the mundane ones. When I look back at 2018, I will be looking back with gratitude. Thank you, 2018. For the people I’ve met, for my solid support system, for good movies like To All The Boys I’ve Loved Before, good books like Everything All At Once by Katrina Leno, good vloggers like David Dobrik and Elle Mills. Thank you thank you thank you.

For 2019, I do not know you yet and I don’t know what you have in store for me. But hey, I’m Erika. And I’m ready to sparkle. I’m ready to bloom. Whatever it is that you have for me, I am already grateful. To becoming the person I will be, here’s to another 12 months of adventures and making things happen. All I can say is, ready when you are, 2019.

P.S: here are moments from my 2018. I hope everyone gets to go, grow and glow for the new year. Happy new year, everyone.

ENDER14

The Comeback

A tornado flew around my room and I got transported to the Land of Oz. I met new friends and defeated The Wicked Witch of the East and returned safely back home. And that sounds just like the plot of The Wizard of Oz but come to think of it also sounds like my senior year in college.

Now that I got your attention, hello there friend, old friend, new friend, ex friend. Let me re-introduce myself. Hi I’m Erika and I started this blog when I was 13 because I was a wannabee blogger. This blog served as an outlet of mine during my early teen years, exposing my awkward moments with my high school crushes and typical, cringy teenage musings.

Then it turned as an online journal a few years later, where I documented my monthly favorites and continually updated my monthly playlists to remember songs. And then, this year the blog accumulated dust and cobwebs. I decided to hibernate. This “hibernation” started a few months back, around mid-March. If you scroll down a little, you can see that I already did a little hiatus around that time then came back around April. Anyway, I would really blame the amount workload I had at that time.

But there were more reasons why I needed that hibernation. I just didn’t do it on this blog, I literally did it in my personal life. I just became lowkey. YA FEEL. I didn’t post much on Twitter and Instagram, I didn’t talk much to my friends, I spent more time with myself. Like dude, I treated myself during my 3 hour breaks. If I didn’t have requirements to rush, I’d go out of school and treat myself to a frappe. But if I had some school work to do, I’d do it for an hour, nap for the remaining time and wake up around 15 minutes before my last class. 3 hour breaks became me time. And it helped a loooot. A LOT. Especially when you’re majoring in a business course which meant you had to socialize every subject. The introverted child in me got drained. That’s why I woke up one day super drained, and decided to just do that thing I did. HAHAHAHA. There ya go.

I don’t really owe an apology to myself, to my online self who runs this blog. Doing this hibernation shiznit, made my entire being a bit better as a person. I LITERALLY GOT A GRIP, FINALLY. And I had a clearer version of where I wanted to head to in life. This year might now be the least documented year of my life on this blog, but it was the most documented on film/photos and knowing that there was one less obligation for me to do (aka come up with a weekly post), helped me a lot. I focused on getting school work done and afterwards rewarded myself with a movie marathon or a vlog marathon hehez.

I just want to share a lot more but I just can’t expose myself as much as I want to because years from now, I will be cringing while reading this post. DUD. And yeah, that’s about it. I might be sharing a few events that happened around August-Early December but it would be on a different post, maybe on the year end post. Let’s see though.

That’s all. My point is to never forget to take a breather once in a while then when you’re ready for it, make your comeback. This is my comeback. It’s a bit lame but ugh idc at least I came back. HEYYY IM BACK LET THAT SINK IN. THIS IS THE REAL CHRISTMAS MIRACLE CHARLIE BROWN. Have a good Christmas, everyone.

ENDER14

The Ultimate 2016 playlist

The last one for this year. Aaahh. What. I cannot believe. I’m actually running out of time because I’m leaving in less than an hour. But um here we go I hope I don’t miss out some good songs because I’m just basing this on my top songs on Spotify.

Final Song by MO

Carried Away by Passion Pit

Problems Problems by Frankie

Nights by Frank Ocean

Solo by Frank Ocean

Forrest Gump by Frank Ocean

White Ferrari by Frank Ocean

Headlights by Robin Schulz, Ilsey

Stay by Kygo, Maty Noyes

By My Side by craves

YOUTH by Troye Sivan

Wild by Troye Sivan, Alessia Cara

LOST BOY by Troye Sivan

Adventure of a Lifetime by Coldplay

Hymn for the Weekend (Seeb Remix) by Coldplay

Christmas Lights by Coldplay

Everglow by Coldplay

waves (Tame Impala remix) by Miguel

Simple Things (remix) by Miguel

Peanut Butter Jelly by Galantis

Love On Me by Galantis

Portugal by WALK THE MOON

Lisa Baby by WALK THE MOON

I Can Lift A Car by WALK THE MOON

Feels Like We’re Going Backwards by Tame Impala

Fragile by Kygo, Labrinth

ILYSB by LANY

pink skies by LANY

current location by LANY

Jumpman by Drake, Future

One Dance by Drake

All We Know by The Chainsmokers

Famous by Kanye West

Truce by Twenty One Pilots

Her (Loving You) by GLADES

4AM by HUNTAR

English Girls by The Maine

Sweet Serendipity by Lee Dwyze

Polaroid by Imagine Dragons

Weight in Gold by Gallant

A Permanent Hug From You by dodie, Jack Howard

Home by Reese Lansangan

Everyday by Ariana Grande

Warm on A Cold Night by HONNE

No Place Like Home by HONNE

Dancing To The Sound of A Broken Heart by Galantis

The Scientist by Coldplay

BLUE by Troye Sivan

I Want To Write You A Song by One Direction

Grew Up at Midnight by The Maccabees

Day Two by Lemaitre

Stuck on a Puzzle by Alex Turner

For Emma by Bon Iver

Losing U by Klingande, Daylight

Home We’ll Go (Michael  by Steve Aoki

This Town by Niall Horan

Just Hold On by Louis Tomlinson, Steve Aoki

Calm Down by Opus Orange

Feast by Firewoodisland

I Remember it Now by Fossil Collective

White Night (thrupence remix) by Hayden Calnin

Mayflies by Benjamin Francis Leftwich

Atlas Hands (Thomas Jack Remix) by Benjamin Francis Leftwich

I Wanna Get Better by Bleachers

Past Lives by BORNS

Millionaire by Cash Cash & Digital Farm Animals

Juke Jam by Chance The Rapper, Justin Bieber

Follow You by Cheat Codes

City by ADHDS

Charlie Brown by Coldplay

Times Like These by The Eden Project

Serious by Kygo, Matt Corby

Late Nights by Lydia

Catch & Release (Deepend Remix) by Matt Simons

Believe by Mumford and Sons

Always by Panama

Uma by Panama Wedding

Without You by Parachute

My Way by Fetty Wap

Oh My Love by The Score

Welcome To Your Life by Grouplove

Sleep On The Floor by The Lumineers

All My Friends by Snakeships

Back 2 U by WALK THE MOON, Steve Aoki

Hannah Hunt by Vampire Weekend

Aquaman by WALK THE MOON

Goodbye by Who Is Fancy

You’re The One That I Want by Grease Cast

17 by Youth Lagoon

A Change Of Heart by The 1975

Do You Love Someone by Grouplove

Ghengis Kahn (Louis The Child remix) by Miike Snow

Not A One by The Young Wild

That is aall xx

ENDER14

 

finalsss

4 MORE DAYS BEFORE I POST SOMETHING. UGHGIGJH SORRY bye WISH ME LUCK I NEED TO PASS ALL MY SUBJECTS /NOT THAT I FAILED ANYTHING SMH/ HAHAHA

That is aall xx

ENDER14

Just how fast the night changes

Four got leaked last Monday and can I just… I just I can’t. I will (definitely) post a Four review maybe this week, when I get the HQ copy. Heehee. Also, if you haven’t heard the leak (lol lame-o people), Night Changes, 18 and Where Do Broken Hearts Go are the best songs off the album.

I also got my grades. Believe it or not, my Theo grade went up by 17 points. Aaahhh. I also didn’t expect to have an 87 in Management because the exam was so hard I came out crying.  Some of my grades went down but I have to work hard so so hard to get those subjects up. Lol. So thank you Lord!!

AND I GOT MY OFFICIAL OTRAT TICKET AAAAHHHH. I’m just so excited. The ticket itself has my own name and I just can’t believe I’m seeing my bbys. :(((

So there’s this pre-enrollment thing and I just hope I’ll still be in the same block as my other blockmates gaaah.

I’m also getting a pair of Roshe soon. Woot woot!

 

And I don’t know what else happened this week. I’m really sorry for the short posts. College has been so tiring and nothing much happens because it’s all about the academics now not like highschool where there was drama and kilig moments everyday 😦

That is aall xx

ENDER14