“Slow down you crazy child. You’re so ambitious for a juvenile. Slow down you’re doing fine. You can’t be everything you want to be before your time” 

It has been awhile since we last talked. A lot has changed since but at the same time, a lot hasn’t. It took a lot in me to start writing this. I don’t know if I have mentioned this even in the previous year end post but I haven’t written in so long. Aside from tweets and Instagram captions, I haven’t really been writing. I wasn’t sure if I was ever gonna come back here. I think a part of me has grown creatively throughout the past year that I express myself better in creating videos. I’m drawn to making video content rather than writing. It’s easier, faster, less brain cells needed. But if you’re reading this now, I guess I decided to post. It has already been a tradition to come here and write at the end of the year anyway. I am quite uncomfortable with sharing my feelings online now that I’m 21 but it’s whatever!!! Here goes nothing. Whatever might be written after this paragraph, know that it‘s still me and I am writing from the bottom of my heart. Even if I was gone for a long time, I’m still the Erika who posted here every week since I was 12.  But do keep in mind this is also the Erika who stepped away from this blog last year and grew. She’s someone who hasn’t really been introduced here. But for the latter version, I hope you welcome her like you did with the first ever version of Erika you read on this blog.

Well you’re in for a treat, shishters. This was 2019.

Just after ringing in the new year, I spent the first few hours of January 1st talking to friends and just catching up, wishing them a good year ahead. It went on until 4AM. From what I recall, I slept around 6 and woke up at 3PM. What a way to enter the new year, am I right?! Anyway, I got the flu a week in the new year. Sooo again, what a way to enter the new year! Okay who am I kidding I’m literally not doing a weekly recap of this year. That’s too much my 2 functioning brain cells could barely think of the following word to put after another word so I’m 100% sure they can’t recall every single thing that happened in the past 54 weeks. Okay since this is the last year end post of this decade, let’s make more fun HAHAHA.

QUARTER 1: Plans & Visions (Jan – Mar)

•Vision Board 


This is my vision board for this year. Spoiler alert: most of my visions were really just visions, it never put into plan, it was never materialized.  Well whatever. HAHA. Are you already getting the feel of what happened to me this year? Hang in there. We’re just in bullet #1 for the first quarter.

•the trip that changed it all

Early February, I had an out of town trip. It’s one of the longest trips I’ve had in awhile. This trip pretty much sealed the deal. I wanted to move to a bigger city for my career. I’ve always wanted to. It used to be a dream as a teen but as years passed by, it slowly became a goal to move away. This trip had a purpose, it wasn’t only a shopping trip. This trip helped me know more about myself and my goals. Not only did it spark of achieving my goal, it also sparked something else. It’s in the next bullet.

•creativity is slowly coming back 

Creativity is something that I’ve always had in me. It’s an innate trait. I think it really has to do with my status of being an only child. I had to play by myself most of the time growing up so I literally had to think of ways to entertain myself daily.  By the end of the first half of my junior year, I felt like my creativity has been drained. My major subjects really sucked all of it. By the last part of my senior year, I didn’t have the drive anymore to give my best. I just wanted to graduate so everything, every output I passed was mediocre. Anyway, creativity is very important to me. It’s needed in art, film, writing — all of which I’m very drawn to. I was quite lost without it for awhile so I’m glad I got it back early this year. I’ve decided to do a series on my Instagram called “Scenes from a fake coming of age indie film”. It’s just a bunch of video clips I have on my camera roll that I edit and compress it into 15 seconds. That’s all. I’d like to think I am the David Dobrik of Instagram Stories HAHAHAHA. I just don’t get the point of posting 3 or more stories, when you can post just one or two with substance. Just go straight to the point. Anyway you do you. That’s just me and I’ll keep doing me (that sounds… off. But okay let’s move on). Getting back creativity or at least a chunk of it really helped me get back into being myself and helping myself like me again. At the same time, it helped me catapult myself ~out there~. More on this later.

•finding out what i want to pursue in life

This happened in March. After countless of afternoons laying on my bed listening to Empire of The Sun, there was a certain afternoon I just decided I wanted to pursue Marketing as a career. Not in Sales, but in Digital Marketing. I hope so. Typing this out scared me because literally anything I put out into this blog and anything I share to anyone or when I claim something, never really happens. I don’t have a back up plan when this goes wrong, so idk idk ?!!!! But I love the e-comm field. I truly believe it’s gonna give me a stable career because we are already in a digital age. It’s gonna be much more digital soon enough.

Also, I hung out with the remaining high school and college friends I have here at home, and I did it as much as I could because they already found work/were already working during that time. I think it’s the most I’ve spent time with them outside school.It’s really weird that I used to see them everyday and we’d share the same experiences on the daily but now it’s just weird and fun to listen to their stories in work. I like how my friends would make me feel like we were officemates. Not much has changed between the dynamic of my friends and I. I’m scared it might soon especially in the next decade. But I’m glad it hasn’t happened yet and I’m very grateful for that.

In the first quarter, I also made a LinkedIn account and started searching for jobs/internships HAHA. Well, stay tuned how it ended! 🙂

QUARTER 2: Driving & Leaving (Apr-June)

•getting student permit and learning how to drive

I don’t know if I ever mentioned it here, but I’ve been wanting to drive ever since college. I just couldn’t find the time to go to driving lessons. But finally had the time and enough courage to learn how to drive. Honestly, one of the best decisions I’ve done this year and one of the highlights!!! Yaa gurl finally knows how to drive!!!! I almost crashed like on the first day of lessons but let’s not talk about that HAHAHAHA.

Truly, doing it afraid is just as brave 🙂

•stepping ~out there~ 

I challenged myself to use Instagram as a platform, as a medium to help express myself and to challenge my creativity a lot more. Like what I’ve said earlier, I’ve been doing curated IG stories. And I just enjoy theeem heehee. I also made a second Instagram, more of a dump account/an online portfolio of some sort just so I can step out of my comfort zone a lil bit by showing a part of my life not even my closest friends have seen before.

This quarter, I was slowly getting pressured because friends are getting jobs & slowly fulfilling their dreams :(((( but again, their timeline isn’t mine. What is theirs, is for them. What is mine, will always be mine and not for anyone else.

The sunsets this time of year were so sooo vivid. It was beauUutiful. See some of them on my year end vid!

•start to edit passion project 

Around March, I started editing (again) my passion project. It’s basically just clips from my senior year of college, some of the highlights and behind the scenes of what went on on my last academic year ever. The first draft ever was done October last year, only to be completed and released a year later.

•on leaving hometown:

Moving away for college didn’t happen. So maybe moving away for work might happen. You see, my hometown is currently too slow for me. Do not get me wrong, I love my hometown. So much. I love the convenience, I love the safety, I love the comfort. Comfort. It has became my comfort zone so that’s why I haven’t felt growth since graduating. But I feel like I have already peaked here and there’s literally nothing to do here. There’s something more out there, somewhere else, something else for me. There has to be. Most of my friends have already moved out and I’m one of the few OGs left. This was something that was very difficult for me to understand. I was the one who kept telling people I’m going to leave this city soon. But here we are, it’s December and I’m still here.

QUARTER 3: Birthdays & Being Stuck Sucks (July-Sept)

•EGGCHELLA the weeklong celebration 

I turned 21 this year and found out it was my golden birthday!!! Like when you turn the same age as your birthdate. So I turned 21 on the 21st. I celebrated an entire week and named it Eggchella HAHAHA like coachella, but my version. Anyway it was just a wholesome celebration. Just a bunch of brunches, lunches and dinners with friends. Since some of them were working and some were still in school, I had to do multiple celebrations that’s why it was a weeklong. It was supposed to be just a birthday salubong but it ended up as a birthweek salubong. Anyway, it was rly fun. It was the first time I celebrated with friends, the last time was when I turned 17. And half of those who came to that celebration, I don’t even get to talk to anymore hHAHAUAHAHA. Not because we have bad blood or anything, but literally we drifted apart and we don’t get to catch up. And you know what, that’s okay. Knowing them, I know they’re nice and I know we’ll keep it chill when we get to reunite (?) HUAHAHA idek ok anywayyy. My birthday like my birthday itself, I just celebrated with fam. It was nice. Then I did a DIY photoshoot for myself. Like I had to rearrange my entire room just so I could get a good pic!!!

By August, it rained for a week long. Like ?!?? Not normal rain, intense monsoon rain. Idk that caused my serotonin to drop immensely.

•In the quarter, I also experienced about the struggles of bein an entrepreneur. Sometimes, sales tend to drop a lot haha. So you have to work it out and just wish for the best. Anyway, that’s all I’m gonna share for now. I’m not ready to share that yet to the world.

the feeling of being stagnant, being left behind. not being enough. becoming frustrated that im stuck in this phase in life. Is this an endless gap year?!? Honestly, I’ve already explained this earlier. This is a reoccurring theme this year, it’s still an unresolved problem. Anyway, whenever I start wanting to apply for a job, something in my personal life happens or at least I get little boosts of motivation then it fades away. I truly think self-doubt and self-rejection are reasons why I cant get my shit together or at least why it’s taking a long time to fix my life. This prompted me to be tired of doing nothing but I can’t do anything about it. I don’t know I guess I was too sad and scared to try to get a job HAUAHAH 😦 idk

•adulting thingz 

Went to a bunch of gov’t offices so I could get IDs because my old college ID isn’t valid anymore and the only ID I have is my passport. Lol. So there. We did a lil adulting adventure.

QUARTER 4: Believing & Growing 

•my 2 old friends visited: Loss & Grief. The last time Loss & Grief visited me was in 2013 when my grandfather passed. This time, it was my grandmother. Loss and Grief aren’t bad friends, they’re good old friends who pay a visit every now and then. Just to check on things. Just to give you both comfort and discomfort at the same time, at least that’s how I see it. Their visit this time was a little too intense for my liking. The last time Loss & Grief were present, I was only 15. I’m 21 now and things have changed. Grief is the more prominent friend. She likes to stay even after Loss has gone. She’s the one who likes spontaneity. Loss likes to be spontaneous too, sometimes announces when he’s coming as soon as he shows up, he doesn’t really stay as long. There’s also one more friend who I found out visits at the same time. Acceptance. She just shows up as soon as Loss appears, at certain cases Acceptance shows up when you already understand everything, or at least try to. Loss, Grief and Acceptance are complex, but there comes a point that you just have to understand them. When they appear, you just have to welcome them. They’re all part of Real Life. I’m just comforted to know my grandma is resting in a much better place. I already said this before but I’m saying it again and I’ll never stop saying it, I’m just very very grateful and blessed she became my grandmother in this lifetime. Very very much grateful for her, and everything she has given and done for me and the rest of the family and everyone she knew in her lifetime. Nothing but gratitude for my grandma and for Him 🙂

I think from what happened in this quarter, I have come to realize that 2019 really rEeally put me in my place. It sat me down and made sure I learned and made me experience things. It brought me back my belief in God, in the universe, in every single principle I had. It brought me back humility, made sure I got shaken up so I could experience growth differently, in a way I haven’t yet.

Every season has a reason. I think I partly understand now why I had this type of season in life but I just haven’t figured out everything yet. Everything’s going to reveal itself in time. Aahhh yes, in Time. His Time. I can’t answer all the questions I have in my heart but I’m sure time will show me everything. It will help me resolve most that hasn’t been yet. This season, above all, taught me the concept of obeying, trusting and surrendering.

Another takeaway from this year is finding out that I could already dance to a song I used to cry to. That is progress.

So, 2020? I don’t know too scared to even talk about you. I was scared of 2019 too, and every year before that. But you know what!!!! I’m still here. I’m still alive. By the grace of God, I’m okay.

Do i just give up this big dream and settle for something less. Maybe settling for something less would lead me to where I’m meant to be? Will I move out anytime soon? Will I finally get a job offer? Do I finally get to see what the world has to offer me? Will I finally make someone fall in love with me? What lies ahead?!? I honestly don’t know. HAHAHA. But you know what!!!! Whatever is for me, will never pass me. It will never be someone else’s because it will be just mine.

I really think my plans had to fall apart to make space for bigger and better things, things that are truly for me. With that being said, ooof, 2019. You’ve given me so much, birthday cakes, Zesto tetra packs, Kenny Rogers, karaoke giggles, “People who cut me in line” stories, and better Instagram content. You were something else, 2019. Thanks for being something else.

Thank You for making me grow. You have never left through it all. Thank You for giving me Your time to listen to me. Thank You for listening to me even if some nights my crying was louder than my prayers. Thank You for understanding when I didn’t pray enough. Thank You for always welcoming me back no matter how much time has passed. Thank You for giving me this season. It wasn’t what I wanted, but it for sure was something I needed. Thank You. Please help me, guide me always. It’s what I need the most.

2020, let me. Just let me. Let me believe again in myself so I could make things happen.  Let me sparkle the way I am meant to.

I guess, that’s all for now.



year end playlist 2019

just a playlist !!! btw my top artist on spotify wrapped this year is ABBA lol. anyway super short, i think some monthly playlists are longer! it’s because i already put songs i like directly to playlists on spotify (dis isn’t a spotify sponsored post bc i keep talking about it lol but wish it was!)

show me what im looking for – carolina liar

magic in the hamptons – social house, lil yachty

boys do fall in love – robin gibb

monument (kasbo remix) – mutemath

chrysalis – empire of the sun

new york – urban cone

gooey – glass animals

berkeley – plastic picnic

running back to you – for the foxes ft. allison weiss

black lemon – generationals

perfect places – lorde

summer girl – HAIM

now im in it – HAIM

lose it – SWMRS

mr. telephone – the mowgli’s

december 1963 – frankie valli & the four seasons

1922 – box the oxford

sparks – beach house

to her door – empire of the sun

benzos and cigarettes – rad horror

seeing stars – BØRNS

fallingwater – maggie rogers

hold your fire – bad suns

on melancholy hill – gorillaz

neon moon – cigarettes after sex

the dream song – nathan reich

all – cherub ft natalie prass

dancing queen – ABBA

purple candy – new friends

norway – the brummies

cornelia street – taylor swift

does your mother know – ABBA

vienna – billy joel

in the arms of a stranger – mike posner

im so tired – lauv, troye sivan

chateau – angus & julia stone

witchlove – nico yaryan

i wear glasses – mating ritual

fall of ‘82 – the shins

this must be the place – sure sure

we are golden – MIKA

when the summer ends – savoir adore

sunshine & lust are no longer enough – luna luna

psychic reader – bad bad hats

ready for you – hunter hunted

chicagoland – magic man

light on – maggie rogers

saltwater – geowulf

youth – glass animals

“99” – barns courtney

passenger – noah kahan

dirty af1s – alexander 23

beige – yoke lore

too long – arlie

1994 – the vernes

together in electric dreams – phil oakey,  giorgio moroder

are you bored yet – wallows, clairo

bad dream – american pets

baby blue – rence

rollercoaster – FLORACENE

all i know – juscova

girl – jukebox the ghost

do you believe in magic? – the lovin spoonful

carry me away – john mayer

the less i know the better – tame impala

uncomfortable – wallows

next to you – john vincent iii

homesick – catfish and the bottlemen

1000 nights – frenship

/// – covey

oceans away – ARIZONA

cherry – harry styles

someone to lose – ashe

happiness is a butterfly – lana del rey

life in the city – the lumineers

cig – baby fuzZ

another state – tigers in the sky

love you for a long time – maggie rogers

sunflower vol. 6 – harry styles

real estate – adam melchor

seventeen – haley blais

orphans – coldplay

boy toy – STRFKR

sunny somewhere – reuben fillies

back in my body – maggie rogers


For 2018

2018. Where do I even begin. I know I’ve been gone for the entire year, I didn’t blog for the whole 2018. I don’t want to explain further but I guess life just happened. I got caught up with the demands of school and life so I didn’t get to blog. I didn’t have words, I didn’t have time to even think of the combination of words to describe what was happening to me. I tried my best to do a comeback month after month. “Maybe just a playlist”, “An update post to inform everyone I’m very much alive”, the drafts of those are still on my phone none of them would ever see the light of day.

Honestly, I couldn’t write because I lost words. Later on, I realized I was the one who was lost. Like 95% of the time this year, I was lost. And the 5% were the times I thought I wasn’t, but I really was. I didn’t know who I was anymore especially after graduation. I was labeled for 12 years as a student, but soon after graduating, I wasn’t a student in school anymore. I now have become a student of life. And that transition was so difficult. I’m still going through the transition phase of it right now.

Maybe this would be the shortest year end post because I don’t feel like writing. I feel like this is such a bold move because I, surprisingly, have a hard time of sharing my feelings now that I’m a bit older. Especially on the interwebs HAHAHAHA.  But like all other years that went by, I’m gonna share the little and big things I learned throughout this year. I’ve already started this tradition so I have to go with it.

At the beginning of the year, I learned how to wait. What was I waiting for? Nothing. Something. Anything. Everything. Sometimes I was waiting for one of them, sometimes all of them all at once. That was overwhelming, in all honesty. I learned how to be patient, to wait for my turn. To wait for my timing.

Everyone already started their internships, while I was stuck waiting for the longest time for mine. I only applied to one company and I stuck by it because I wanted it. I wanted it so bad, that in my mind and heart that if I didn’t get it, I would drop the subject and extend for another sem. My turn didn’t come until mid March when everyone was about to finish their 300 hours. I didn’t care I wanted it. I was so happy when I finally got my phone interview. The confirmation e-mail brought me so much joy, finally my prayers were getting answered. I started it March, and finished it by May. It was alright I guess but I learned so so much from my internship, not only in my field but so much as a person. Which brings me to the next lesson, kindness.

I’ve seen people go do the lowest of lows a person could do just to get what they want. They screamed foul words, reacted unpleasantly towards their fellow humans. I’ve seen people be so cold that they become toxic to everyone around them. I know everyone has a battle, or have lost a battle, that’s why they’re like that. A professor in college once said, “we are all victims of the past”. Like me, like you, like them, we have experienced something in the past that changed our views, maybe for the better or for worse.  That’s why we are the people we are now. But kindness in whatever way expressed is very important, it is vital. To me, it cancels out negativity, toxic things in the world. Just a few kind words could change someones day, even their views on life.

Morgan Harper Nichols’ words, helped me get through this year. I only found out about her words after my struggles of the first half of 2018 was over. It was life changing.“In the waiting, I am still growing” stuck with me. And for that, I am grateful for her words.

Anyway, like all the other years I have grown so much as a person but it may have not seemed like it. But I did. I am no longer the girl who posted the year ender last year. I’m completely different. I read somewhere, “when you ask God for growth, don’t be surprised when it starts to rain”. I asked Him specifically to grow this year. And when ~bad things~ started happening to me, I didn’t know what to do. Later on, I realized those ~bad things~ weren’t as bad as all. It was making me ready, it was making me grow. I shifted to “gratitude over attitude” mindset and tbh it helped me the most. Rather than complaining about the situation that I was in, I began to be thankful that I was in that situation no matter how bad or unlucky it was. Becoming grateful so so sOoo much has been life changing. It has been something I’ve been working in for so long, and it’s still something I’m working on.

I have finally accepted this year that I’m still a work in progress. I haven’t figured out everything yet. I’m this speck of dust who doesn’t know her place yet in this universe. And that’s fine not to have everything figured out. It’s fine to take it one day at a time. You have to drown the negative thoughts and all the doubts from others and from yourself, especially from yourself. At the end of the day, all you have is yourself. You’re stuck with yourself forever. You have to nurture yourself inside and out. You have to tick all the boxes from your to-do list but if you couldn’t tick a handful of them, please know that it is okay. Again, one day at a time. One goal at a time.

I’m very very veRY grateful for everything that has happened to me this year. Maybe this year was the year that I’ve become most grateful and I’m bringing that kind of energy in the coming years. I am grateful for all the songs I’ve listened to that made me feel alive and for the songs that made me feel like I’m in a coming of age film. I am grateful for all the opportunities I had this year; from my internship in my dream company, going to Harry Styles’ concert with a rad friend (hehe the pun doe), graduating college, to a small, humble business I put up this year with some family members. I am one blessed egg and sometimes I fail to see that. Which I know I shouldn’t. I pray that I am always reminded that there are so many things to be grateful for. And there are so many things to still experience, many feelings to feel. I hope to heal. I hope to find genuine happiness. I still hope to grow and finally bloom. I hope to see not only sunrises, but also sunsets; beautiful ones and the mundane ones. When I look back at 2018, I will be looking back with gratitude. Thank you, 2018. For the people I’ve met, for my solid support system, for good movies like To All The Boys I’ve Loved Before, good books like Everything All At Once by Katrina Leno, good vloggers like David Dobrik and Elle Mills. Thank you thank you thank you.

For 2019, I do not know you yet and I don’t know what you have in store for me. But hey, I’m Erika. And I’m ready to sparkle. I’m ready to bloom. Whatever it is that you have for me, I am already grateful. To becoming the person I will be, here’s to another 12 months of adventures and making things happen. All I can say is, ready when you are, 2019.

P.S: here are moments from my 2018. I hope everyone gets to go, grow and glow for the new year. Happy new year, everyone.


2018 Playlist

Here’s the first and last playlist for 2018. 

One More Weekend – audien, max

With You – matt walden

Every Little Thing – russell dickerson

Good Times – next town down

June, after dark – elliot root

Take all the time you need – oh honey

Used to it – ashe

Show me – john splitoff, madison ryann ward

When you come home – trevor dahl

Just like everybody else – jocelyn

Only got eyes for her – ezra jordan

Slipping – quinn lewis

All this time – caye

Don’t know you yet – riley whisler, katy dix

Pink champagne – nick lopez

C’est la vie – maurice moore

Miss the sun – edwin raphael

All the wats to say goodbye – mitch james

Hoodie – hey violet


Wild – local sound

1985 – hotel apache

Who you are – one – the genius buddha band

The plural of moose is moose – national parks

I wear glasses – mating ritual

Only friend – maxwell young

Girl crush – harry styles

The bottom – phil j

Take it away – rod ladgrove

Five past ten – blair

Waiting on the summer – vhs collection

Summer lover – harbor & home

I Need u to stay – half an orange

Yellow lines – brendan james

Tell me tell me – courtship

City lights – hall johnson

Lady luck – richard swift

 Beacon – matt duncan

Hold on – roosevelt

This feeling – alabama shakes

Family and genus – shakey graves

 Tears of joy – slow club

If i ever was a child – wilco

San Francisco street – sun rai

Bruce Wayne – memorecks, jenna pemkowski

Through your fingers – pace

Sucker for you – matt terry

Wasted youth – sody, luke brown

About you – colouring

 Us – ed whichler

 Sleeptalking – travelers

Catherine – magic man

Somewhere warm – the runaway club

Remedy – telehope

75 Verndale – andy leon

Honey Moon – Birds in the airport

Good nights – mascolo, whethan

Take her place – arizona

Boy afraid – saro

Waterfall – panama, petit biscuit

New york city – owl city

All I Ever Want – Scouuts

Dance With me – sir, please

Ballad of Player 1Up – Dan black

Feels good – breakup

Friday nights are for lovers – the cigarette blondes

Good girls tigertown remix – crystal fighters

Indian summer – hoax

Lemondrops bob lemon remix – telana, bob lemon, prov

Love you for it – pro vita

Give me life – lewis watson

Millennial attraction – hardcastle

Like we’re in love again – slumberjack

Pineapple – the careful ones

Pleaser – wallows

See through you – willie shaw

Loner blood – ceres

Sweet california – margot polo

Talk all night for nothing – tyson motsenbocker

Growth – brother son

1922 – box the oxford

This Girl – Kungs vs Cookin on 3 Burners

Thank u, next – Ariana Grande

We are Golden – MIKA

Magic in The Hamptons – Social House

Homesick – Catfish and the Bottlemen

Chateau – Angus and Julia Stone

Velleity – Arms Akimbo

Miscommunication – Arms Akimbo

Cool Down – Matthew E. White, Natalie Prasa

Hooked – Why Don’t We

Out of Touch – Daryl Hall and John Oates

2002 – Anne Marie

Hair Too Long – The Vamps

San Francisco (Chin Chilla Remix) – Courier, Chin Chilla

Netflix Trip – AJR

Since We’re Alone – Niall Horan

Ocean Eyes (blackbear remix) – Billie Eilish, blackbear

Would You Be So Kind – dodie

Dreams Tonite – Alvvays


Been A Long Time – NEIKED, lil Indo

I Like Me Better (Ryan Riback Remix) – LAUV, Ryan Riback

Seeing Blind – Niall Horan

You and Me – Niall Horan

Ever Since New York – Harry Styles

Sweet Creature – Harry Styles

Meet Me In The Hallway – Harry Styles

Half-Light – Rostam, Kelly Zutrau

Sweet Talk – Saint Motel

Something About Us – Saint Motel

Let’s Stay Together (cover) – Imaginary Future

Take it as it comes – Imaginary Future

Weekend Millionaires – Katelyn Traver

Closer – Nick Wilson

Bad Ones – Matthew Dear, Tegan and Sara

New Light – John Mayer

Good Nights – Whethan, Mascolo

The Good Part – AJR

The Middle – Zedd, Maren Morris, Grey

Peach Pit – Peach Pit

Say Love – James TW

Psycho- Post Malone, Ty Dolla Sign

Sunflower – Post Malone

Go Flex – Post Malone

Harvest Moon – Handsome Ghost

Bestfriend – Rex Orange County

Beacon – Matt Duncan

Superhero – LAUV

Malibu – Miley Cyrus

Everytime – boy pablo

Stir Fry – Migos

Seventeen – Troye Sivan

Postcard – Troye Sivan

Crush Culture – conan gray

Generation Why – conan gray


I Love You So – The Walters

Move This (Shake That Body) – Technotronic

Colour Me – Juke Ross

Paper Hearts – The Vamps

Midnight – Jordan Mackampa

Never Be The Same – Camilla Cabello

Vibes – Griffin Stroller

Truly Madly Deeply – Yoke Lore

I’d Rather Be With You – Joshua Radin

Tokyo Nights – Digital Farm Animals, Shaun Frank, Dragonette

Take Her Place – Don Diablo, A R I Z O N A

Cross My Mind (pt 2) – A R I Z O N A

Loving Life – Rationale

Yellow Lights – Harry Hudson

Kathang Isip – Ben & Ben

Feels Great – Cheat Codes, Fetty Wap, CVBZ

Paris or Wherever We Are – Emily Hearn

Away We Go – Bad Suns

Clockwise – Dylan Dunlap

New York City – Andrew Benjamin

Love and War in Your Twenties – Jordy Searcy

Last Call – Hudson Thames

It’s Cool – KIN

Sober Up – AJR ft Rivers Cuomo



That’s all, 2017


How do I even begin. FYI, I started writing this on the 30th of December, just right after midnight. I was editing the second draft of the you’re about to see at the end of this post. This is the last one for 2017, I guess. This could probably be a long post because I haven’t written for so long. Okay. Here goes nothing.

Have you ever had those bad mornings? Like you believed you were gonna have a bad day. Where everything just seemed wrong. Your alarm decided it won’t wake you up on time today so woke up late. Then you don’t even bother eating breakfast, you run to the shower, get dressed and come out of your house. You couldn’t find a ride so you get to your school just in time or a few minutes late? Then your professor starts the day with a surprise quiz or recitation and you know nothing? The day progresses and you just keep hating everything that’s happening. You start to believe in Murphy’s Law once again. You want to go home and sleep and swear to yourself you’ll do better tomorrow? But suddenly, just when before you enter your last class for the day, you find out your professor won’t be meeting your class for the day. So you come out of school and come home an hour early. The best part is that your favorite Youtuber has uploaded and you forget all the bad things you experienced earlier that day.

Well, my friend, I just described 2017 for you. So that’s it. See y’all in 2018! Lolz jk.

But yeah, that really was 2017. It started out so bad. January was literally one of the worst months I’ve had. I was starting to believe that I was one of the Boudelaire children from A Series of Unfortunate Events because it was that bad. The highlight of January was probably my last long graduation weekend of my college life. You see, January is graduation season for my school so they suspend classes around Friday and the students get a long weekend. I went to MNL with my mom, cousin and aunt. It was great because I left my problems at home. I had this conflict with Research groupings, I was put in the class with the terror teacher and I basically entered the wrong class for the first two weeks of school. HOW DUMB OF ME RIGHT DONT JUDGE ME.

Moving on, February. I don’t remember much of it but I was still getting over my stupidity and all the bad events that happened on January. I remember having this immersion thing for my class at a restaurant but it had to be cancelled because of a local tragedy that happened so CHED had to suspend all outside school activities.

March. This was the time I started my “hibernation”. I woke up one day, really tired from life in general, and decided that I wasn’t going to talk to anyone that doesn’t talk to me first. Not because I was petty, but because I was tired. I was tired of always being the first one to reach out to people to hang out, the first one to initiate the conversation, etc etc. I wanted people, my friends to be exact, to also give the effort I gave out. I just wanted to know if they still have a place in my life and if I still fit in theirs. It’s sad that I actually thought of this. I didn’t even think that they could actually be going through some shit that’s why they were too busy to talk to me. I just thought that we were drifting apart. And actually, we really were.

So what came out of this “hibernation”? It’s nice to be alone and lowkey. I have already explained what I did during this time on my previous post. But yeah. I learned to value “me time”. I started to invest more time in myself. This ~hiatus~ helped me to get back on my feet and I did intervals of this throughout the year.

Hibernation season ended around mid April. April was also the time I quit drinking coffee. It all started as a “panata” for Holy Week. Then, I started researching about the disadvantages of coffee and that’s how it progressed. The first 2 weeks were the most difficult. Mind you that I still had school and I had a 9am classes that time. I was suuuper grumpy. I was PMSing even if I was done PMSing. Ya feel. Anyway, I survived 4 months of no coffee intake. Until the birthday salubong of my friend, we decided to go to Krispy Kreme. I should have ordered a frappe but it was raining that night. So I decided to treat myself with a cup of cappucino. Even the cappucino said no. Maaan my face was tingling the whole night. I’m so glad I didn’t palpitate. From what I read it was because of caffeine desensitization or something like that.

Okay where was I? Oh right. May. Oh May. The first two weeks were hella stressful. I had to do 2 individual oral reports for 2 major subjects. ON THE SAME DAY. It was nerve-wracking. And I don’t remember much of that day because I was filled with anxiety I internally blacked out for the rest of that day. But hey, I survived.

June. Hay June. If you guys can recall, I didn’t really do short term this year because well first of all, no slots were given to me. Second of all, the last half of Junior year FINISHED ME. I needed a break. So there you go I got a break. Which I now slightly regret. But anyway, it’s not my fault because they didnt give me any subjects. Only to find out, there were plenty of slots during the enrollment period i wANT TO SCREAM. Anyway, everything happens for a reason.

All June I just stayed at home watching Youtube and got obssessed with 80’s and 90’s Filipino films and love teams. That’s when my dream of doing a movie with love teams who need to do a reunion project sparked.

July was the month I turned 19. This month started out pretty emotional for me. I was just really sad this month. Like 2016 sad. The type of sad you tell yourself to stop crying but you feel it deep down and before you know it a piece of your already beaten heart dissolves again and tears begin to fall and the cycle begins all over again. I don’t know dude but July has some serious issues with me since 2015. Why can’t I get a happy birth month? When can I get a happy birth month again? What did I do? Was it because instead of wishing for happiness to my birthday candles that I’ve blown, I wasted my wishes on material things? Not to mention temporary ones?

Sometimes, birthdays can just feel like normal days and that’s okay. Sometimes you just get to have humble birthdays to get you ready for those amazing, spectacular, over the top birthdays. You just don’t think of it yet at that moment but those kind of birthdays are still beautiful. It’s the simple, it’s normal. Those are the birthdays you’ll tend to forget but you should be grateful for them.

August was the month of hassle. Classes started and I loathed my schedule of the sem. It was my first time having a class that ended at 7:30. I am nocturnal but I ain’t meant for the graveyard shift in school. Anyway, when I got used to my 7:30 sched, it was a lot of fun. I remember one time during a typhoon, and classes were already suspended the day after, I stopped to look around before crossing the street. The night market people were still setting up and it was foggy. And the wind was really strong. I thought to myself, I kept complaining about my 7:30 class and my bad sched but some people have to quit school just for their families to eat. And some people have to keep working even if there was a typhoon approaching just so they can eat. The thought of me being ungrateful and unreasonable just struck me on the way home.

September was the prelude to a nightmare. Though there were times I was lucky to not have classes due to typhoons, GURL, thesis shookt me. I volunteered to reformat the questionnaire and ya girl, did it wrong. Not once, not twice, but 5 times. Until I finally gave up and delegated the task to another groupmate. Groupmate succeeded or so we thought. It was already signed by our adviser so we all just needed to sign the questionnaire so we could float. Lo and behold, groupmate #2’s name was not there. YA GURL had to find a way to insert her name without redoing the entire process of editing-printing-signing again. Life hack: School libraries have emergency school supplies. Just ask the front desk!!!

October was the introduction of the nightmare. But like, October gave me suuuper great memories I will cherish forever and ever. I went to MNL with my Adver groupmates to shoot our tourism ad. It was the worst best decision of the year. I named it #indieegg because who woulda thought I would survive MNL (on my own) like first time no parents, no fam members, just me and 5 other acquaintances who later on became mt friends. I know I owe this kwento but let’s just get over this event briefly. And when I say briefly, I meant by bullets because by now it’s 3am of the 31st and I have to be up by 7 later.

>Left at 11:45pm, Oct 28. Arrived 5:45, Oct 29. Only had 4 hours of sleep because I had 3 exams the day of the trip.

> Commuted the whole day as in bus, jeep, grab, uber huhu soliiiddd day

> almost lost groupmates

>Became the legit leader of the group I can’t even. I just wow I’m so glad my anxiety was chill the whole trip. I took over the whole group, as in I made sure they were okay and they were in a buddy system, and that I was at the back of the line every time we had to go and walk.

>Pooped at SM Aura. Ya gurl remembered there was no bidet so she had to use wet wipes. #TMI (BOUJEE PLACE BUT NO BIDET IM DISAPPOINTED)

> Went back an hour early like our ticket was  10pm, but we were allowed to leave at 9.

> Got home at around 3am and slept until 4pm.

>Sunflower Seeds by Bryce Vine was the song of this trip.

November was the real nightmare. I actually don’t know how I got out of this month alive but I somehow did. Academic stress was just consuming me alive. It was just a whirlwind of events. There wasn’t a routine this month, which was the real adventure. It was full of deadlines though so it still needed a schedule. The highlight was going to John Hay during my 2 hour break and going back to school. It burned my wallet but hey it was fun.

December. The final one. It was waking up from the nightmare. Deadlines were over. I went home tipsy for the first time ever. I also went home at 11:30, the latest I’ve ever stayed out with friends. We also won an award for Most Liked Video on the Internet for the Ad we were working on. This year, I didn’t really feel the Christmas spirit, or any holiday spirit. Idk. This is just the new normal, I guess. This is what growing up really is. I felt like I’ve grown up so much this year I don’t even know who I am. I’m not even sure who’s the Erika typing now. So sooo much has changed but I didn’t feel it until now.

Okay update I’m writing this in the afternoon of the 31st. DUDE. DUUUDE. MY LAPTOP KEPT CRASHING BECAUSE OF VEGAS PRO. I JUST WANTED TO RENDER THE VIDEO.

Okay going back. Growing up. Yes. Wow. I just grew up this year. I conquered the fear of growing up and changing. And it’s not a bad thing. It’s a great thing. I’m so glad I did that. I also conquered lots of my fears. I’m so SHOOKT. That’s the right term. I don’t know how I did it, but I just did it.

2017 was probably the year I both took a step back yet I also took a step forward. It’s like being two places at once. (OOHHH A Walk To Remember reference!!!) It really was being lowkey and getting rid of the negativity that surrounded me. I fell in love with the quote “If you have good thoughts they will shine out of your face like sunbeams and you will always look lovely.” MY FACE CLEARED OUT ONCE I DID THAT. (well probs tnx to face masks) but still!!! That was what I wanted to actually feel good inside and out.

In 2017, I had to accept that life really is that way and you just have to brace yourself for whatever impact because you won’t know where you’ll land. Life is strange, it’s beautiful sometimes. It gets really tiring, but once you just accept that life really is like that, you’ll just stop controlling things. I learned how to let the moment go, where the moment goes. As in, I just went with the flow. There wasn’t a map this year nor a list to be ticked off. I just went with it to be honest. And for once, it was a great feeling. Greater that following a list and restricting myself with goals to follow.

My wish for the past years were “I hope in 2014/5/6/7, you find what you’re looking for”. It’s 2018 tomorrow, and you know what I haven’t found what I’ve been looking for. I’ve been looking for years. Let’s go back to good ole HIMYM. “You just have to be in the right time, at the right place”. In 2018, I wish to be in the right time, at the right place. I wish 2018 will just bring me the good things I deserve. I wish 2018 brings peace, blessings, love and happiness.

2017 made me a lot kinder. I was woke fam. I was woke and saw so many problems in the world. I felt so helpless throughout 2017 because I couldn’t help the people who were struck by calamities and tragedies. It was so heartbreaking to see so many innocent people in the world suffer. HAY. I guess what made me so tired this year was because I gave my 100% effort to help out people. Like my groupmates and friends etc. Because I wanted to show them kindness so they would show kindness to others as well. Instead of complaining and creating more negativity, I chose to be that way this year. Even if I was really reaaally tired. I still tried to help others. Also, not to be mayabang and narcissistic but I also did some random acts of kindness along the way. Not because I wanted to get something back in return, I just really wanted to keep giving. I have enough for me and yeah.

I learned in 2017 to forgive more. Forgive people even if you didn’t get the apology you deserved. Just forgive and all will be well.

This year, I also learned to be patient with people. I dealt with different types of people. Patience and understanding is key my friends. I’m so shocked I didn’t scream at anyone this year.

As much as I want this year to end, my gosh I really want this year to end, I… I’m just scared right now and really anxious of 2018. I know I said this this time last year and look at me now, I survived 2017. But I don’t know. I don’t know where I’ll be this time next year. For a moment, I just want to be with 2017 now and all of the good things it has given me, the good people I’ve met. The spotlight it has given me. But I’m leaving all the pain you have given me, all the doubts and negativity. All the hassle moments.

If I were to describe 2017 in 3 words it would be: SHOOKT, Simple, Surreal. The tweets are true. 2017 was both the best and worst year. It wasn’t 2016 worse but like yeah. YA FEEL.

But before I the clock turns midnight and you leave I just want to thank you, 2017. You were difficult to understand, you were honest, you were mindblowing but you definitely made me grow. You made me believe in myself for the first time in a long time, and you made me one tough cookie. Despite all the bad things, someday soon when I look back at 2017, I will be looking back with gratitude.

P.S. I told you even if I didn’t blog, I still documented this year in a different way.

2018, let me sparkle. I’m not quite ready but okay the clock will turn 12 no matter what. So ready when you are. 🚀

Happy New Year, everyone. I hope you get every good thing you’ll wish for.



2017 Playlist

This is the start of the end of the year posts!!! I haven’t done a playlist in so long so I’m basically sharing what I’ve been listening to since the start of the year. This is from my top 100 most played songs for 2017 from Spotify

2 0 1 7 PLAYLIST


September Song by JP Cooper

Final Song by MO

Bad and Boujee by Migos, Lil Uzi Vert

American Teen by Khalid

8TEEN by Khalid

Starboy by The Weeknd

Stargirl Interlude by The Weeknd ft. Lana del Rey

Party Monster by The Weeknd

Feels by Calvin Harris, Katy Perry, Pharrell Williams, Big Sean

Heatstroke by Calvin Harris, Young Thug, Pharrell Williams

Slide by Calvin Harris, Frank Ocean, Migos

Cash Out by Calvin Harris, ScHoolboy Q, PARTYNEXTDOOR, DRAM

Chainsaw by Nick Jonas

Caroline by Aminé

Ever Since New York by Harry Styles

Sweet Creature by Harry Styles

Two Ghosts by Harry Styles

From The Dining Table by Harry Styles

ILYSB (stripped) by LANY

Pancakes by LANY

Super Far by LANY

Slow Hands by Niall Horan

Mirrors by Niall Horan

Flicker by Niall Horan

Fire Away by Niall Horan

City of Stars by Ryan Gosling, Emma Stone

Audition (La La Land) by Emma Stone

I’m The One by DJ Khaled, Justin Bieber, Quavo, Chance The Rapper

Castle on the Hill by Ed Sheeran

Dive by Ed Sheeran

Galway Girl by Ed Sheeran

Nancy Mulligan by Ed Sheeran

Sand & Lead by NEIKED, Brolin

Lifetimes by Oh Wonder

Strawberry Swing by Coldplay

Rosie by John Mayer

You’re Gonna Live Forever in Me by John Mayer

Stay Alive by Jose Gonzalez

Come Hang Out by AJR

Weak by AJR

I’m Not Famous by AJR

Say U Won’t by Basstracks

I Love You So by The Walters

This Was A Home Once by Bad Suns

Miss You ( by Louis Tomlinson

Sunshine by POWERS

Let’s Go Home by Carousel

What Lovers Do by Maroon 5 ft SZA

Redbone by Childish Gambino

Wait a Minute! by Willow

Burn Fast by Bryce Fox

HUMBLE. by Kendrick Lamar

Come What May by Sharon Cuneta (LOLZ)

The Woods by Hollow Coves

Strip That Down by Liam Payne, Quavo

Lonely Cities by Tigertown, Wingtip

Take Me Away by Tigertown, filous

It Ain’t Wrong Loving You by HONNE

How I Want Ya by Hudson Thames, DEV

Doses & Mimosas by Cherub

Stay by The Vamps

Trouble by Cage The Elephant

Whole Wide World (Unpeeled) by Cage The Elephant

Sunflower Seeds by Bryce Vine

Sour Patch Kids by Bryce Vine

11 blocks by Wrabel

Cross My Mind pt. 2 by ARIZONA

Straight Into Your Arms by Vance Joy

Whole Heart by Gryffin, Bipolar Sunshine

Surprise Yourself by Jack Garratt

No Trouble by Julian LaMadrid

I Want To Feel Alive by The Lighthouse

Eyes Shut by Years and Years

Sex For Breakfast by Life of Dillon

Violet by Bad Suns

Come back by Kidwaste, gnash

The Other by LAUV

Breathe by LAUV

I Like Me Better by LAUV

Running Out of Places To Go by Riley Whisler

In My Arms by Tyne-James Organ

Romantic (NOTD remix) by stanaj, NOTD

Bette Davis Eyes by Rogue Wave

Same Drugs by Chance the Rapper

Waves (Demo version) by Chance the Rapper

Glittering Lights by Martin Hall

Of Space and Time by City and Color

Japanese Denim by Daniel Caesar

Get You by Daniel Caesar (ft. Kali Uchis)

We Find Love by Daniel Caesar

Young Blood by Noah Kahan

Rollin Around by Nat and Alex

Matches by Cash Cash, ROZES

I Don’t Wanna End the Night by Prelow

Your Girl by Violet Days

Recess by Golden Coast

Idle Town by Conan Gray

Last 10 seconds by one11twenty

Arms Open by The Script

The Ocean by Alex uhlmann, EDO

Take It All Back 2.0 by Judah & The Lion

Pool by Paramore

Someone’s Somebody by Jasmine Thompson

Sixteen by Chelsea Cutler

Your Shirt by Chelsea Cutler

Holy Ghost by ICELANDIA

Lift Me Up by Imaginary Future

Wonder by honeywater

No Ordinary by Charles William

Baby, You Make Me Crazy by Sam Smith

Smells Like Summer by early hours

All my life by WILD

My Comeback by Drew Monsoon

Mexico by NO VACAY

Golden Age by The Electric Songs

Why Can’t We All Just Get Along by Jacob Whitesides

Only Us by paperwhite

Take that by CRUISR

The Pressure by Jess and Gabriel

Midnight by Jordan Mackampa

Feels Great by Cheat Codes. ft. Fetty Wap

Grew Up At Midnight by The Maccabees

Water by Ra Ra Riot ft. Rostam


That’s it for the last playlist of 2017. Y’ALL GET READY FOR MY YEAR END POST COMING RIGHT UP.














The Comeback

A tornado flew around my room and I got transported to the Land of Oz. I met new friends and defeated The Wicked Witch of the East and returned safely back home. And that sounds just like the plot of The Wizard of Oz but come to think of it also sounds like my senior year in college.

Now that I got your attention, hello there friend, old friend, new friend, ex friend. Let me re-introduce myself. Hi I’m Erika and I started this blog when I was 13 because I was a wannabee blogger. This blog served as an outlet of mine during my early teen years, exposing my awkward moments with my high school crushes and typical, cringy teenage musings.

Then it turned as an online journal a few years later, where I documented my monthly favorites and continually updated my monthly playlists to remember songs. And then, this year the blog accumulated dust and cobwebs. I decided to hibernate. This “hibernation” started a few months back, around mid-March. If you scroll down a little, you can see that I already did a little hiatus around that time then came back around April. Anyway, I would really blame the amount workload I had at that time.

But there were more reasons why I needed that hibernation. I just didn’t do it on this blog, I literally did it in my personal life. I just became lowkey. YA FEEL. I didn’t post much on Twitter and Instagram, I didn’t talk much to my friends, I spent more time with myself. Like dude, I treated myself during my 3 hour breaks. If I didn’t have requirements to rush, I’d go out of school and treat myself to a frappe. But if I had some school work to do, I’d do it for an hour, nap for the remaining time and wake up around 15 minutes before my last class. 3 hour breaks became me time. And it helped a loooot. A LOT. Especially when you’re majoring in a business course which meant you had to socialize every subject. The introverted child in me got drained. That’s why I woke up one day super drained, and decided to just do that thing I did. HAHAHAHA. There ya go.

I don’t really owe an apology to myself, to my online self who runs this blog. Doing this hibernation shiznit, made my entire being a bit better as a person. I LITERALLY GOT A GRIP, FINALLY. And I had a clearer version of where I wanted to head to in life. This year might now be the least documented year of my life on this blog, but it was the most documented on film/photos and knowing that there was one less obligation for me to do (aka come up with a weekly post), helped me a lot. I focused on getting school work done and afterwards rewarded myself with a movie marathon or a vlog marathon hehez.

I just want to share a lot more but I just can’t expose myself as much as I want to because years from now, I will be cringing while reading this post. DUD. And yeah, that’s about it. I might be sharing a few events that happened around August-Early December but it would be on a different post, maybe on the year end post. Let’s see though.

That’s all. My point is to never forget to take a breather once in a while then when you’re ready for it, make your comeback. This is my comeback. It’s a bit lame but ugh idc at least I came back. HEYYY IM BACK LET THAT SINK IN. THIS IS THE REAL CHRISTMAS MIRACLE CHARLIE BROWN. Have a good Christmas, everyone.


Good times are gonna come now

Hello hello hello this is gon be a recap of what has happened to me for the past few weeks (including my birthday week) + a playlist 😉

BIRTHDAY WEEKEND //  Like I mentioned in my last post, I spent 3 days in Manila to celebrate my birthday. I had my Kenny Rogers fix, a dose of the food court at SM Aura and finally trying Tim Ho Wan (I get the hype for their pork buns now. I am one of them now who will continue to hype it up.)

I was quite lucky because most of the clothing stores I love were on sale. I ended up getting a few pieces and of course my new found love, Superga. I got another pair of Superga’s but this time it was the classic black pair. The first one that I got last January was in the pure Bordeaux color.  I was planning on investing already on a Pandora but I felt like it wasn’t time yet. Maybe in a few months hehez 😉

TYPHOON ADVENTURE // 2 typhoons hit my city on the last week of July. And it was intense. I even had to go out during the landfall of the most recent one because it was my nephew’s 7th birthday. Being wet is an understatement. I was soaked, shivering and just not the most happy camper. Though I love the rainy season, I just remembered how it’s gonna be such a hassle to get to Point A to Point B especially that I have to commute.

SENIOR YEAR  //   Okay I really don’t want to get into detail about the enrollment process that I went through a few days ago. I’m extra glad this would (hopefully) be the last 1st sem enrollment I’ll ever experience. At first, I only had 15 units out of the required 21 because Tax closed and according to some, apparently they only opened 2 classes out of the 5 that they were supposed to offer this sem. Anyway, I had to go back last Friday to get Tax. I was sooo nervous because I thought I wasn’t gonna get it but fortunately I did. (Para akong nabunutan ng tinik after seeing the pink withdrawal/adding form!!!) Surely, what is for you will not pass you 😉

My schedule this sem is messy as in solid but then again so is my life. I’m just really glad to get Tax and not having to worry about being delayed. I had to advance my Law 5 tho because the other Law subject that I was gonna get closed 🙂 But ugh okay anyway I’m just really grateful I got the max units this sem.

Anyway I cannot believe I’m already a senior. A COLLEGE SENIOR. Remember when I was just talking about being a senior high school wow (that’s documented on this blog check out my 2013 posts hahaha) Just yesterday, I accessed my high school portal and I’m shocked it still works and my ID number is stored on this laptop. I miss the kind of grades I used to get, maaan. I miss high school also but I don’t really wish to go back even though life was a lot simpler back then. Hahahaha. Gosh I hope I do well for this last full year. I was just talking to my friend last night and I was telling him na “Push lang ng push”. HAHAHAHA. I guess that’s the mantra, friends. “PUSH LANG NG PUSH”.

I don’t really know what to feel now I’m a senior. Umm ugh idk it’s still not sinking in!!! I’m pretty sure I’ll get the hang of college stress now because of all the battles I faced and battle scars I still have from my junior year.

MOVIE MARATHON //  Sharing you some of my faves from the movies I watched. Baby Driver was AAAHHH-mazing. Ansel Elgort plays Baby HAHAHA like the name fits him well. I also watched some 80’s and 90’s Pinoy movies, specifically the Sharon Cuneta and Gabby Concepcion movies, all 9 of them. I really do hope their reunion movie pushes through. If it doesn’t, I swear I will be the one to write, direct and produce their reunion movie. I also watched coming of age films during that era and gurl I was shooketh to the core. The movies that were released those times were just so raw, and it was so different because technology was so different. It makes you think how they survived without WIFI. Simpler timez, fosho.

In other news, To All The Boys I’ve Loved Before is finally gonna be a movie!!! I’m still trying to love the cast but because Jenny Han is super hands-on, I’m just gonna trust her. I believe she’s doing everything she can to make her masterpiece still a masterpiece, only in film form.



Sunshine by POWERS

1000x by Jarryd James, BROODS

HUMBLE by Kendrick Lamar

Come What May by Lani Hall and Herb Alpert

Stay Alive by José Gonzalez

Young Blood by Noah Kahan

Pancakes by LANY

Super Far by LANY

Can’t Hide by Whethan, Ashe

Same Drugs by Chance the Rapper

Where It All Goes by lostboycrow

Glittering Lights by Martin Hall

Wouldn’t It Be Nice by Finn Matthews

Feels by Calvin Harris, Pharrell Williams, Katy Perry, Big Sean

Cash Out by Calvin Harris, ScHoolBoy Q, PARTYNEXTDOOR, DRAM

$150 / rolwiddit by Healy

The Lighthouse and The Whaler – Venice (Louis The Child Remix) by Orange Music + Others

Back To You by Louis Tomlinson, Bebe Rexha, Digital Farm Animals

Paper Hearts by The Vamps

Stay by The Vamps

My Place by The Vamps

Soap by Fox Wilde

Sweet Talk (Evan Gartner Remix) by ACADEMY, Quinn XCII

Close To You by Mia Gladstone

Drive (Stripped) by Glades

Rosie by John Mayer


That is aall xx


19; of initials, lessons and gratitude

In honor of turning 19, I think this would be a good send off to my 18 year old self. This was inspired by a video series on Twitter by someone for her 23rd birthday where she showed clips of people in her life and talked about her relationship with them + the lessons she got from them.

Here’s my spin on that series. Though there are a lot of bad in this world, I am overwhelmed because the universe has conspired me to meet the few of the good ones left. Here they are the 19 people who made their mark in my life. These are all of their initials because I want them to assume it’s them (para naman may thrill lolin)

(Listen to Stay Alive by José Gonzalez for this part for full effect.)

YD (2010), 

No matter where you end up, you’ll always be my reminder. A reminder of strength and courage. A reminder to always shock the world by standing in the middle of a storm. — I learned how to be brave amidst the bad things happening. 


KC (2010),

I created a new drinking game for us. For every “no” you said and will say in the future, we’d take a shot. “No” makes me fight more to get the thing I want (i.e, harry styles) — Sometimes some ideas aren’t meant to come true. Accept it, no matter how cool it sounded.


MD (2011),

You were there through thick and thin, through the ugliest and to the best eyebrows. I hope someday I also get to break someone’s shell in order for them to fly. — Encourage people to face their fears. Let them know that exhilarating feeling when they step out of their comfort zone.


VD (2011), 

Choosing not to buy food after school has been our thing but conspiracy theories, Youtube videos and the desire of escaping really helped bury our rift in the past. — Forgive and forget. Better times are ahead.


AR (2011),

Though we’re not as close as we were a few years ago, we remained good friends and updated each other whether it was about life or a good TV show. I hope I see the day when you no longer have to third wheel. (Hahahaha) – Third wheeling is alright. You get to know the do’s and don’ts on a relationship without having one. HAHAHAHAHA 1/2 jk 


RP (2012), 

 Someday, if I find out that someone has a crush on me and I do not plan on reciprocating the feelings, I’ll still give them their High School Musical moment just like what you did for me. — Do nice, small gestures for others. They will remember you for it.


BM (2012),

For being a strong willed lady like you, I now know why we fought plenty of times back in the day. The power of peksman should never be broken. — Keep your word to keep the friendship.


KA (2012),

On monotonous days, your crazy adventures serve as a reminder on how I should have a sense of spontaneity in life. On low days your strong faith serves as a reminder on how I should believe in Him.  – Constantly remind people about their faith. Especially in dark times.


JE (2013), 

You are the only one on this list who I haven’t met personally. We don’t know each other, or at least not yet. But you make me want to go and see the world, too. I hope one day I get to finally meet you and we can go somewhere new preferably one with a view. But until then, I’m stocking up on some exciting stories you might want to hear. — Someday and somewhere can be right now and right here. I am just waiting for the Universe to decide.


MD (2014), 

You always understand, or at least try to understand the people around you. When you finally do, you treat them as family. With the amount of patience, love and understanding you have, I will always look up to you. — People will always complicated. Get to know them, learn how to adapt and adjust. 


SB (2014),

You were my first lunch buddy during my freshman year. I will always remember how friendly and welcoming you are. Thank you for letting me in your group of friends. – Be that kid who lets people in without any questions. Welcome them and treat them well. 


KC (2015),

For opening up and letting me hear exclusive stories from your childhood to your current awkward adulthood beginnings, I can truly say you are a good person who deserves better. — Sharing your stories to other people is one thing, people sharing their stories to you is another. Prefer the latter.  


JN (2015),

I always whine and complain about how tired I am to you but never did I hear you complain when you were as tired as I was. The only thing I heard from you was a prayer. — Complaining will not get you anywhere. Prayers, silent or out loud, will get you somewhere. Seek Him.


JG (2015), 

Law and PE classes wouldn’t be as fun without you. I am fond of you because you remind me of an earlier version of myself; the one who believed that books and movies are the best form of escape. – Life can be pretty overwhelming, it’s nice to know how to escape from it without leaving it completely.


RM (2015),

I have never met anyone as contented with her life as you. You always see the good in people.  PS. The next time you hear Breaking Free I hope you think of the time I won our karaoke battle. – It’s normal to want things. Contentment is still key though. 


TP (2015),

You shared latest 9Gag memes and your personal stories to me (like that one time your lost phone went to Japan and back to the PH), my wish for you is to find everlasting love hahahaha – Be the fun one with all the great stories. 


KP (2016),

For tolerating me and for that one time you made sure that I got home safe so you and our friend got in a cab with me to drop me off, I am extremely grateful. We need more people like you in this world. – Your humility has changed me and everyone else you’ve worked with. Continue to keep your feet on the ground.


AG (2016),

You were my lunch buddy throughout the first half of Junior Year, and you sided with me when I ranted about evil people. I will always remember you when I eat unsanitary Sisig and drink cheap milk tea. I admire your simple dreams for you and your family. – It’s important to have dreams for you. It’s also important to have dreams for the people you love too. 


LA (2016),

It was that October morning when I told you how sad I was and how tired I was of life. I’m not quite sure if you understood but you still listened to me and I will always be thankful. My advice for you is to get out of toxic relationships, platonic or not. This will help you in the long run. –Listen to people, it doesn’t matter if you understood them or not. The important thing is you let them vent out. 


🎂 🎂 🎂

For this part, listen to Young Blood by Noah Kahan

I wrote the first half of this post weeks before my birthday. I read The Little Prince again after a long time a few days before my birthday because I felt like I needed some inspiration to finish this post and also some guidance on how I should live my 19th year.

My takeaways from doing these in preparation for my birthday?

From doing this post, I learned how to look back and just laugh about all the bad times. I fully accept that I don’t really talk to most of these people on a daily basis, I’m glad I had so many good moments with them and I’m wishing for many more new ones. But if time and fate doesn’t allow us, my heart has a special place for all the moments we had.

From reading The Little Prince, my takeaway would be that I don’t want to fail as an adult. I don’t want to end up like most of them. I don’t want to end up like one of those grownups the little prince met. I want to be as kind as I am on my 18th year, even kinder. I want to be better.

I wrote this last part just now. I just got home last night from a birthday trip to Manila. Despite the rain and traffic, it was nice to get my fix of pollution and shopping.

I don’t know how many “this is your last teen year” lines I’ve received/heard on my birthday. You know what? I’m not even sad about it being the last. I’m quite excited for the next era. The 20’s. But that’s still in the future. Right now I just really want to take in every moment of my 19th year. I want to be a better version of Erika this year. I want to live and experience a lot more things that would be great to tell some young girl when I’m older and she’ll be in awe of how much I lived. I hope I don’t waste this year just like I wasted some of the others.

(Belated) Happy birthday, self. May you keep your time, keep your mind, keep it humble. Remind yourself that what is for you will not pass you. Please don’t be sad about growing up.  It’s a beautiful thing to do and changing  for the better is a nice thing. You made me so proud. It’s time to climb and get to another mountain. To so many more sunsets, good times, plane rides and city skylines.

For anotha one, thank You 👆 My heart is full.

That is aall xx

But I love it, Starboy

Hollaaa it’s a monthly playlist. The first one in a long time yaayy. Some songs are still from March and most are from my Discover Weekly playlist on Spotify. I just learned recently that this playlist is actually tailored by Spotify and based on what you have been listening for  the week. This is gonna be medj a long playlist to make bawi because I didn’t post a proper one since February.

Anyway did you know Harry Styles, my baby, is coming back to MNL??? I’m really hoping to go because I feel like Harry made sure I’m going to see him because he’s going on a holiday. If I go to his concert, it would be my last concert as a college student. Dude. SO I HAVE TO GO.



Stargirl Interlude by The Weeknd, Lana Del Rey

Starboy by The Weeknd

Chanel by Frank Ocean

11 Blocks by Wrabel

September Song by JP Cooper

Dissipate (Acoustic) by Sam Garrett

Ever Since New York by Harry Styles (like listen  tothe whole album MY GOSHHH I think I’m gonna do an album review soon)

Burn Fast by Bryce Fox

Bad and Boujee by Migos, Lil Uzi Vert

Late Night by ODESZA

Caroline by Aminé

Slow Hands by Niall Horan

Five Twenty Seven by Charlie Allen

8TEEN by Khalid

Another Sad Love Song by Khalid

I Want To Feel Alive by The Lighthouse And The Whaler

Sex For Breakfast by Life of Dillon

Eyes Wide by Handsome Ghost, Whole Doubts

Come Back by Kidwaste, gnash

Running Out Of Places To Go by Riley Whisler

Oops by Little Mix ft. Charlie Puth

In My Arms by James Organ

Dive by Ed Sheeran

What If by Adam Friedman

Chicago by The Icarus Account

Bette Davis Eyes by Rogue Wave

I’m The One by DJ Khaled, Justin Bieber, Quavo, Chance The Rapper, Lil Wayne

I’m Not Famous by AJR

Weak by AJR

Cool It Child by Hazlett

Sunflower Seeds by Bryce Vine

She’s Casual by The Hunna

Sand & Lead by NEIKED, Brolin

Of Space and Time by City and Color

Japanese Denim by Daniel Caesar

Chapter by On Planets, Luca Fogale