night is still young

Holla this won’t be a long post because idk I’m just not in the mood to post lmao ok I haven’t been in a good mood since yesterday because of some shiz but I’m great, just a bump in the road lolz okay oh and by the way my grades are okay and suprisingly it isn’t the reason why I feel so down haha but need to work harder this term!! 🙂 And I still have to decide what subjects I’ll take this summer :\ Umm yeah haha I still have less than 48 hours to do that.

That is aall xx

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then the crowd came and pulled you away

Holla everyone

Shawn Mendes’ album is sooo good. It’s so perfect wow. Deff 10/10 😉

Anyway, my week has been crazy!!! From the time (Monday) I left my bag in the room before I had my make up quiz so I had to go and get it and thank God the teacher was soo nice and let me in to get my bag. So obvi I didn’t review for PE because I had my quiz during the vacant period and I was rushing to change into my uniform and I had about 15 minutes to go over the handout. Anyway, all turned out well. I don’t know if I did good or not for the PE exam.

But anyway, midterms was tough bruh. I don’t want to talk about the exams I took and the grades I’m about to get because wow. I knew not only my grades, but also I myself went downhill and at this point, I’m so close to giving up but again, I have to pull myself together and get through one more month. But who’s strong and will face anything? I AM. WOOT WOOT. Here’s to self empowerment…. Kind of? Uhh hahaha.

This week’s going to be a busy week because finals will start after the grades are released huhu help me 😦 I need to find motivation or buy something to get me going and try better in school ugh.

ALSO NTS: GRADES DO NOT MEASURE YOUR INTELLIGENCE SO WHATEVER NUMBER THAT POPS OUT IN THE SYSTEM, JUST ACCEPT IT AND DO BETTER. GRADES DO NOT MEASURE YOUR WORTH AS A HUMAN BEING OKAY? OKAY. YOU ARE MORE THAN YOUR GRADES. YOU ARE MORE THAN JUST A BUNCH OF NUMBERS.

Also today’s weather was so bipolar. It was raining while the sun was out. But the sky was sooo beautiful and it was a cotton candy ombre wonderland. So I just remembered I still had a pack of film somewhere in my room, found it and went outside while there was still some daylight left. Took 4 photos, and I failed to take the picture of the sky. Ughughguhg. I need to study what setting to use again because I’m confused :\ I only use my Instax for selfies and OOTDs but never for nature (?). I think I’m going to buy a new pack and just use it for sunsets, sunrises, grass and all that good stuff that makes life somewhat bearable and beautiful.

That is aall xx

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Your sweet suburban tomb

Hell week is this week. I forgot about my PE exam tomorrow. I still have to review for my Math quiz and I have to pass this one because I failed the previous one.  And wow the events last Friday stressed the hell out of me plus I havent had enough sleep since Thursday night.

This is so crazy because 3 weeks ago I was having the time of my life and I vowed to myself that after seeing the boys, I’ll be better, stronger, and have a positive outlook in life already but I’m back to square one I just??? how can I do that when shit is happening each day. I can’t even. 😦 I’m hoping all of this is a blessing in disguise.

I’m trying my best to be happy and have bright days but I just I can’t okay!!! I’m on the verge of having a breakdown lmao bruh I’m surprised it hasn’t happened yet. Okay I need to study now sorry for that rant haha It’s just been tough for a few days but I hope I’ll be alright just need to get my shit together and focus on more important things.

NTS: Don’t lose your fight kid. (GET IT BC THE TITLE HAHA IT’S SO OBVIOUS I’VE BEEN LISTENING TO THIS SONG OVER AND OVER AGAIN FOR THE PAST FEW DAYS)

That is aall xx

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I saw them. Finally.

Once there was this 12 year old girl who found this British-Irish boyband called One Direction when she was a sophomore in highschool. And well, that boyband became her world. She wanted to see them live. She was already a fan when One Direction started their Up All Night tour. But they didn’t go to her country. When the UAN tour finished, they started the Take Me Home tour for their second album. Again, they didn’t go to her country. When the TMH era ended, the boys had a short break. They then came up with the “One Big Announcement” which sparked hope for this now 14 year old girl because there were rumors that it was a stadium tour. Her country had stadiums. But when they officially announced the tour, she couldn’t see the name of her country anywhere. She didn’t give up because 1D said they were still going to add dates and venues. Buuut again for the 3rd time, they didn’t announce anything about them going to her country and performing there. At that point, she was tired of waiting but she was hopeful.

2014 finally came. WWA tour was still going on when they announced “On The Road Again”. On May 2014, a video leaked. When she clicked the link, it was the 5 boys she has loved since she was 12 announcing that they were going to perform in her country soon. There were tears; happy tears. She tweeted so so much that night, all in caps lock. She screamed in a high pitched voice and went to her mom’s room to tell her all about it. She knew she’d be allowed to go if ever because she kept mentioning it to her parents since she became a fan. And finally, ticket selling day came. She didn’t get a ticket because she lived far away from Manila and it was already sold out. Again, she didn’t lose hope. A few days later, another video leaked and it was the boys again telling that they’re adding a 2nd day. And there, she lost her chill. The ticket selling for the second show wasn’t until 2 months later. She did save up for that concert, but she figured out that they were going to sell during her birthday month so she begged her parents to give her an overpriced piece of paper that would bring her ultimate happiness for her birthday. And so they did.

July 3 came, and the ticket selling started 10AM. There were technical difficulties and after 4 hours of stress, tears and anxiety… She got it. She got a ticket. She was finally going to see her favorite boys live. Finally, after 4 years.

The girl I was talking about? That was me.

MARCH 22, 2015. I was 16, and my dream came true.

Back story: I lined up 12:45pm and wow it was hella hot that day. And while I was in the line, 10 minutes in, I HAD TO PEE. (I have a weak bladder ok) So I called my mom and aunt to sub for me andI ran as fast as I could to the mall to go do my business and ran back to the line. There wasn’t any much progress to be honest. When I got back, they were still there. A few minutes or so, they had to leave me. So I was alone and all I had was my phone, a liter of water, C2, fries and a burger from Jolibee.

It took about 3 hours til I was near the tent (ok I don’t want to explain the line anymore because wow it’s just going to take long). So about 4:00, I was already in the tent and this was where the drama started. So I just got in the tent and you had to go to the tent before you entered the grounds. And there were barriers and people kept moving in and out of the line and wow some of them were “singit” and it was so freaking annoying and so unfair!!! The adult infront of me called the attention of the guard because she noticed it and got annoyed. There was this particular lady, she was in a green dress and she had 2 daughters and yes I heard their conversation, the lady was like “When someone asks you where you’re going tell them you were in a group and you got lost. okay?” WHAT THE HELL. WE LINED UP FOR ALMOST 4 HOURS, ENDURING THE HEAT AND YOU’RE JUST GOING TO CUT THE LINE JUST BECAUSE YOU KNEW SOMEONE WHO WAS ALREADY THERE??THAT’S NOT HOW THIS SHIT WORKS. THAT’S WHY THERE’S A LINE.  AND IF YOU KNOW THEM,  TELL THEM I HATE THEM AND I HOPE KARMA HITS THEM IN THE FACE. /lmao ok i lost my chill for awhile there/

Aaanyyywayyy, while I was in the line in the tent, I could already hear music. They were playing Macarena lolz and people assumed they were already there so duh, people were screaming and wow my anxiety was through the roof i swear. And some were saying that they could hear the drum, meaning Josh (the drummer) was already there. So people were screaming again. It was about 4:30 when the line was moving and wow the way was so dirty 😦

I was shaking throughout the whole 5 minute walk to the entrance. When I got to the Gold entrance, the guards were checking our bags and wow I forgot to drink my C2 and I forgot that umbrellas weren’t allowed inside. So instead of putting the umbrella in the baggage counter, I had to donate it. Even the C2 lol, there was this random lady who was like calling those who wanted to donate food and drinks to the police and all. So I gave here the C2 lol.

So they finally got my ticket and I, being alone, did not know where to sit lol. But I found a row that wasn’t occupied yet, it was like the right of Gold and I wasn’t really in the middle, I was more in front than in the middle… I think? But I was near the Smart booth lol.

So here was my view: It was a bad angle, but I swear I saw the stage (and later on, I saw them lolz)

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When I was there sitting, I got thirsty so thank God there were food and drink booths near me. So I told the girl in my row I was getting drinks and she was so nice, she even put a Penshoppe catalogue in my seat to reserve it. I didn’t get her name though 😦 But I was sitting next to her and her friends throughout the whole concert.

So I got the water already and blah, there were Penshoppe commericals, Little Mix music videos on the screen lol. Look at my shot of Sean O’Pry. Bruuhhh

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When it got darker, they started playing 5SOS and Olly Murs music videos. And at around 6:00, it started drizzling. Wow thanks a lot clouds and precipitation. Then the front act came, and that was the time it started raining CRAAAZY.  Btw, the opening act was DJ KC, I think he was from Malaysia (?) (I hope it was a Filipino band though 😦 But DJ KC’s set was so fun and got us so pumped). He started with a his set with All Of Me. Umm I don’t exactly remember the whole set but some songs he played were Breakfree, Diamonds, Turn Down For What, Lose Myself, We Are Young (which was the last song I think? And wow it was great that he ended his set with that because it pretty much sums up the night that was about to start)

Then the set ended at about 7:30??  So while waiting, they played music videos again. And then the reminders came on from the boys and everyone was going crazy, even the rain got crazier (I protected myself with the banner we were supposed to hold up) but the rain poured so I was like meh yolo, I’ll just get wet even more when they come out (Did I just say that?). Then the screens went to the OTRAT screen thing haha and played the songs they would normally play before the boys came out. Two of which were the Friends theme song and Macarena. After the songs, they played the MV of Good Girls by 5SOS and that was when I knew they were about to come out. Anyway, the rain did not get any weaker.

OKAY FAST FORWARD. THE SCREENS DID THE BLINDS THING AND MY WHOLE LIFE FLASHED BEFORE ME AND THE INTRO VIDEO CAME ON AND I JUST LOST IT. THEN AFTER A FEW SECONDS, THE BOYS CAME OUT AND WOWZA I STOOD ON THE CHAIR (which was prohibited lol but yolo!!!) and the first one I saw was Harry!!! (And they were pretty small bc duh I was far from the stage but you could still see them from my section). (But still you could still see their height differences lolz) And wow in pictures, Louis looks the smallest but really, Niall is. Woah.

The opening was Clouds and again, I screamed my head off. (THAT’S LOUIS’ HEAD HAHAHAHA)

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Here’s Liam (more like Liyummy hehe) BUT I SWEAR LIAM LOOK SO GWAP IN PERSON :((( EVEN THE OTHER 3, HUHU (yeah zayn wasn’t there and it was the first concert without him)

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After Clouds they talked and like wow. tHEY WERE TALKING. AND I WAS WITNESSING EVERY SECOND OF IT. MY LIFE IS COMPLETE. And during that time it still wasn’t sinking in that they were right in front of me. So they sang Steal My Girl. Zayn, not being around, Liam had to do Zayn’s solo. Which he did pretty good. Wow.

After Steal My Girl, it was one of my all time faves. Where Do Broken Hearts Go. And Niall Horan, God bless that boy. When Niall sang “To the look on your face when I let you go” MY HEART MELTED BECAUSE HE PROLONGED THE “LET” PART SO INSTEAD OF IT BEING FLAT HE WENT A NOTE LOWER THEN WENT BACK UP TO “YOU GO” AND MY HEART MELTED :(((  It was the 3rd song, and I was already crying. Idk why but WDBHG means a lot to me especially this line in first verse before the chorus. “So I built you a house from a broken home. And I wrote you a song with the words you spoke” and that line is so beautiful :(((

THIS WAS THE REASON I CRIED DURING WDBHG BYE NIALL /ok the pictures are a bit blurry because of the rain and both my camera and phone can’t focus because it got wet/

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Okay this was Liam speaking lol and I think this was  when he was singing in a sing-song voice “mANILAAAA” and he kkept doing it before speaking HUHUUSHUSH MY HEART 😦 /i miss liam already it has been 2 weeks since i saw his beautiful face/

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Midnight Memories went next and I don’t have a video of it because I called my blockmate who was also a fan lol. Then it was Kiss You and yeah haha I have a short vid of it. After that it was Stockholm Syndrome (???) or was it Ready to run idk hahaha. I’ll upload videos really soon when I have the time. I think it will just be a vlog-type video where I’ll be cutting the videos and making it in to one. Yeah I think I’ll do that lolz

Then it they sang Strong and believe it or not I didn’t cry during that song. They performed Better Than Words after. WHICH WAS WOW. Because I witnessed Niall’s famous crotch grab :((( I’m wow still. I am blessed. I don’t have a picture but it was on video hahaha.

So I didn’t know the songs that went after Better Than Words during that time. So I was like wow okay surprise me. AND THEY SURPRISED ME ALRIGHT. Niall was all like “This is a song I wrote with a band called McFly” and I was thinking they were going to perform “I Would”, which Niall also wrote with McFly. And I was so confused that time ok. BUT WELL SURPRISE. It was Don’t Forget Where You Belong. And I was lost and confused that time okay so they put DFWYB go after Better Than Words and that’s when I remembered that it was the “sad songs saga” because after DFWYB, it was Night Changes then Little Things. I mean who does that??? They literally wanted me to cry all the tears I have present in my body (what hahaha)

Okay so let’s go back to Don’t Forget Where You Belong. /I accidentally deleted the video of this ugh ugh/ But I cried so so so hard during this song. And the backdrop was them being them and some of the footage of the performing and yeah. Which made me so emotional because I’ve seen this boys when they were still tiny and sitting at the bottom of the stairs and now they’re selling out stadiums and they were performing right in front of me.

“Don’t forget where you belong (HOME). Don’t forget where you belong (HOME). If you ever feel alone, don’t. You are never on your own. And the proof is in this song.” 

Wow okay. And I cried again during Night Changes 😦 Obviously haha. Because that song just means a lot to me. 😦

So during Little Things I was calling my friend haha so I couldn’t take photos on my phone so I took a video on my camera. But along with DFWYB, I accidentally deleted it. Just like the 2 previous songs, this one just… made me burst in to tears right after Niall’s verse and wow.

Okay fast forward… Alive, Diana (surprisingly I did not cry during this song), One Thing

What Makes You Beautiful was next. For the past 4 years I’ve been saying “WMYB is the song I will never forget because it made me beautiful just for 3 minutes and 21 seconds.” And it’s true. And during that time, I remembered all the things that has happened in the fandom late 2011, early 2012 when the boys were just making a name to when they released their second album and from that time, it was just crazy already. And you know what when the first note of  that was the moment everything sunk in, all at once. The 4 years of waiting was so worth it. It was worth it because I loved them so much and they made me so so happy for the past 4 years. And I think I will never love anyone so greatly like I loved One Direction. Our love was deeper than the Pacific Ocean. (Well, my love… but still I know they loved me too lolz)

Next up was Through The Dark and bruh during that time we didn’t know Zayn was leaving. We just knew he was on a break. So I just enjoyed the song though it just means a lot because it was released 2013 and if you’ve been reading my blog, you know that 2013 was a tough year. And I remember listening to that song on repeat during our last camp lol. Plus Liam forgot the lyrics before the last chorus he was like “Oh I will carry you… carry you over fire and water” HAHAHA.

“And you don’t need to rush, I know you wanna be loved. Oh I will carry you over fire and water for your love. And I will hold you closer, hope your heart is strong enough. When the night is coming down on you, we will find a way through the dark” 

After that it was a happy song yey!! Girl Almighty. And before they sang it, correct me if I’m wrong but someone (I think Niall) was playing Act My Age on the guitar and I thought they were really going to sing it for the first time because they were like “This is a fast song and this involves a lot of clapping” idk ok

 Story Of My Life was the last song before the encore. So they were already saying goodbye and all that but I knew they were still going to have the last 3 songs. Again, I got emotional during Story Of My Life lol.

Sometime before SOML, they did the birthday thing to Toby and sang I Will Survive and read a few signs from the crowd. And they read a sign saying “LIAM I AM YOUR LONG LOST DAUGHTER” and the girl at the back was like “DADDY AF!!!” no chill 😦 no chill 😦

So the plan was, we were going to sing Torn right after they returned backstage for a wardrobe change. And ya we did… kind of lol. They went back and HARRY. OH GOSH HARRY TIED HIS HAIR INTO A BUN. BRUH BRUHHH. So they then performed You and I (which was sooo different because Zayn wasn’t around) then Little White Lies aka my jam because wow dat bass drop gets me every time!!!

And finally, it was down to the last song which was Best Song Ever. That time my phone was out of storage so I had to delete some selfies and the Facebook app so that I could take photos. My cam had like 3 minutes left. So I was like eh whatever I’m just going to enjoy the last song and not take a video for the whole song. And again, I got so emotional and I was screaming my head off, I was like “I LOVE YOUUUU” “LIAM!!!!” “LOUISSS” “NA-YAAAAL I LOVE YOU I LOVE YOUUU” “HARRY!!!!” 😦 hahahaha which was pretty annoying but meh it was the last song and I was standing on the chairs and everyone was like “KUYA LAST NA TO WAG NIYO NA KAMI PABABAIN” because standing on chairs wasn’t allowed.

[Louis voice] I know you know I know you’ll remember me and I know you know I hope you remember how we danced // HUHU ofc I will remember you how can I not!!!

And after BSE, there were fireworks and I was just so happy and sad at the same time. Idk what I was feeling I was aifagahisjga hahahaha. I’ve never been so so happy in my whole life because I just saw the loves of my life and I’ve never been so sad because I saw my loves and they’re leaving wow. I’ll post photos of the fireworks soon because it’s on my phone and I’m already lazy to connect my phone to my laptop.

And that concludes the best night of my life. Definitely, one for the books 😉

I’d like to thank the boys for a great great night and an unforgettable one. I don’t care if I missed school work, it was hella worth it. You promised you’ll come back soon. Next time you come around, you’ll see me in the front row. I love you. Thank you for motivating me to live and thank you for being my heroes. And to 4/5, thank you for staying. I love you guys so so so much, with all my heart. 🙂

I think that night was the time I finally felt “infinite”, just like Charlie from The Perks of Being a Wallflower lol

Two things to keep in mind if you have dreams: Never give up. And make it happen 😉 (This also goes to future me)

Thank you for reading this v long post about a spectacular night. All the love .xx

That is all xx

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Let the moment go

Very special post tomorrow 😉 HAHA And um yeah today was the last day of school for me for the week and we got out early and also our math teacher allowed us to open our notes for the last 5 minutes during the quiz but like I wrote the wrong formula so lol @ me anyway here’s a playlist (songs were listened to during my recent tripp)

APRIL PLAYLIST

Vancouver Aches by Silences

Higher by Royal Tongues

Belong by Joshua Radin

Foolish Love by Allman Brown

Not Alone by Kid Arkade ft. Josh Franceschi

You’re The One For Me by Great Good Fine Ok

Walk Away by LANY

Live and Let Go by Paper and Places

Shine On Me by SomeKindOfWonderful

Fate by Xing

Am I Pretty by The Maine

Moment Goes by The Young Wild

Come Back To Me by Urban Cone ft. Tove Lo

See You Later by The Violet ft. Van Ward

Through The Dark by One Direction (JUST BECAUSE)

Problems by Strangeheart

Stars by The Suits

All We Do by Oh Wonder

Another Night On Mars by The Maine

Long Way Home (acoustic) by 5SOS

If You Went Away by Daniel Wilson

Cool by Roy English ft. Alesso

Coming Your Way by Beach Avenue

Celeste by Ezra Vine

To The End With Me by Train Robbers

Find You by Zedd, Matthew Koma

Ignition / Do You (mashup) by Phoebe Ryan

Diet Soda Society by The Maine

That is aall xx

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March faves

Who needs an April Fool’s prank if the whole March has been a joke lmao

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M U S I C

The Maine (American Candy album) – This actually just came out yesterday and it is amazeballs!!! To be honest, this sounds like Black and White that met Pioneer. It’s that amazing. Everyone should get a copy :p

M O V I E S

Cinderella – Watched this with my friends last Saturday. It was hella magical hahaha and I learned something from Cinderella. 1) Cinderella is not her real name, it’s Ella. 2) Have courage and be kind 😉

C L O T H I N G

Basic colored t-shirts – Since it’s the summer time, I think it’s time to get rid of black for awhile because it’s getting hot and I just wow.

Adidas (Pharrell line) – Okay so last month I wanted the one from Topshop. When I went to Mnl, the Adidas x Topshop was not yet available in the Topshop I went to 😦 This time I want the Pharrell line. I want one so bad huhu actually all of them but wow 😦 I really want the teal, yellow and bright and pale salmon.

O T H E R S 

Daisy rings from H&M – I just realized that all the jewelry I own (the ones I bought) symbolizes something to me hahaha wow. I bought the set because idk daisies are my favorite kind of flowers because it’s just pure and I think it’s more sincere when you receive daisies rather than flowers (SHOUTOUT TO HARRY STYLES I WANT DAISIES, NOT ROSES. I REPEAT BUY ME DAISIES, NOT ROSES)

Jamba Juice- I love Jamba Juice. Jamba Juice is life. I tried this like a summer or 2 ago, but I recently just tried one again (because I was about to pass out from dehydration from heat lolz 1/2 jk) and I fell in love. Banana berry is heart eyes emoji

That is aall xx

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