I still hear you call

Okay this week has been okay except the fact that yesterday was totally shit for me because there’s a slight possibility that I might fail Physics. I failed the first L.E (I only scored half) and I will fail the 2nd one because MENTAL BLOCK IS A BITCH I SWEAR. I don’t want to see my score in the 2nd one. Sigh.

Oh and my soul met me last Wednesday 🙂 She’s really awesome and I have a feeling we’re gonna be close hihi. Thank God I have an outgoing and not-that-shy soul 🙂 Yey. Plus my 2 friends’ souls are friends with my souls. So I plan to have lunch with them so it won’t be that awkward. Yey.  [cue It’s a small world after all]

Last Thursday, I had to sing “I’m WATERPROOF nothing to lose, fire awayyy…” because we were only until 3 that day because of the fire and earthquake drills. It was raining so hard that day I almost cried on the way home because my socks were so wet and I can’t walk properly.

I’m starting to be friends with some of my classmates too. Heh. I’m starting to be close with Jamie. Tbh, I really didn’t expect that I’d be friends with her because we had different groups during Rad and I assumed her to be KJ since she always said “sshhh” whenever the class was having fun. I found out that it’s actually easy to open up to her. Haha. Oh plus the boy I hate ever since junior year has been nice to me and even said thank you when I gave him paper the other day. Well lesson learned 🙂 And it’s never too late to be friends with someone, I guess? And people also change.

I bought some clothes yesterday and I might buy again next week (hashtag medyo spoiled) hahaha. Hell yeah mofo and I’m going to go on a diet /again/ /and this time I hope it’s successful/ /fak I went on a diet last summer and it was almost successful until the last week of May when I ate rice again sigh/

We were supposed to have classes today but it got suspended. I woke up at 6:00 awhile ago, panicking because my friends were supposed to miss call me and that was supposed to be my alarm. But my phone didn’t ring. Heh. I was eating breakfast when I texted my friends asking if there were classes but they didn’t reply so I went on fb to check if there was an announcement. And yeah, my batchmate posted that classes were suspended today. So yey I went back to sleep because I went to bed at around 12 awhile ago so yeah.

Anyway, there was no point in going to school today anyway. I only have 2 classes, the 2 subjects after lunch is free time because of Research. Speaking of, we already finished our Thesis. CAN I GET A HELL YEAHHH? 😀 We’re going to let it be book bound probably after the defense and after it gets checked again. As soon as we get the book, I will kiss it, hug it and takee  a picture of it and let it get framed because we worked hard for that shit and spent a lot of time and money for it. Oh my god.

Spent the whole Saturday listening to Vampire Weekend and another leaked song of One Direction which is  entitled “Diana” AND FAK IM DOING ANOTHER POST ABOUT THIS SONG BECAUSE UGH THIS IS THE MOST PERFECT SONG EVER IT’S LIKE LITTLE THINGS BUT IT’S NOT A BALLAD BUT I BET YOU $29434959 THEY’RE NEVER GONNA SING IT LIVE LIKE SAME MISTAKES AND THEY DON’T KNOW ABOUT US WHICH MAKES ME SAD BUT WHAT IF THEY DO SING IT IN THE WWA TOUR HOLY SHIT IM SO EXCITED IDK

That is all. xx

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All my heart

Hollaaa. I won’t be telling you guys what happened to me this week because too much drama. And when I say too much, I mean it.  Let’s just say school has been shitty-er this week. Teachers getting mad at us (because they hate us), too many requirements,  my scores in seatworks plus my first long exam in Physics are low  and all the shit. Sigh. I CANNOT WAIT TO GRADUATE AND (HOPEFULLY) LEAVE THIS TOWN BECAUSE TO BE HONEST I’M REALLY SICK AND TIRED OF CONSTANTLY FEELING LIKE SHIT AND I JUST WANT TO START A NEW CHAPTER. DID YOU KNOW THAT SCHOOL USED TO BE FUN BACK IN THE DAY? 

Oh well, enough with that rant. I’m telling you guys the things I’m starting to be obsessed with lol. 

▼ Stydia. (Stiles + Lydia).

If you guys  follow me on Twitter, you know that I just started watching Teen Wolf. Heh. And I’m almost done with Season 1. 🙂 I ship Stydia so hard (more that Sterek tbh). I like Stiles so much because he’s adorkable. Hah yeah, I just used the word ‘Adorkable’ #iregretnothing. I spent the weekend watching fanmade videos of them and listening to Stydia mixes on 8tracks. I want to share my favorites I found.

 

Sterica (Stiles + Erica) 

I’m not kidding. Erica’s really the name of the character. Haha oh and yeah, I let another TV show ruin my life.  Here’s another pair I ship from the show. Too bad Erica died 😦 Yes, I know she died even though I’m still watching season 1. Tumblr is a a website full of spoilers. Here’s a link of a one shot I cried over at 1 in the morning the other day.

 

Lang Leav’s poetry

I’m starting to like poetry /again/. It’s been awhile since I read some really good poems.  Here’s her website and here are few of my favorite pieces from her. 

 

 

Spoken Poetry (Phil Kay and Sarah Kaye)

Both of them are so freaking good. They are amazing oh my god. I wish I could deliver a piece like they could. :\ Here are my favesss. You guys should watch their other videos on Youtube, they’re pretty good too.

 

That’s all for now, I guess. Haha. Goodnight and have a great week, everyone! Xx

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Nialler’s twenteen

Blonde hair, shiny blue eyes. Face made of gold. Hypnotized by your beautiful eyes that draw me in.

Belated happy birthday, Niall bear!!! I’ve been in love with you ever since you were a fetus. 

Anyway, I have watched you “”kinda”” grow up. I still remember when you had crooked teeth in baggy and loose pants plus your hair. Omg fetus. Then you had this phase wherein you wore a lot of snapbacks and you had braces. Haha.  Now you’re this boy who wears muscle tees #nipslips #slut and I think you bought all of the 5SOS and Crazy Mofos shirts available online. Hahahaha kidding.  Now that you’re 20, can you please please have a phase where you wear flower crowns and raglan shirts?

Please take my hand, I would be honored to dance with you. Or maybe have a chance with you

You proved that a boy from a small town can make it big and that gives me hope. Every time that I want to give up on life, I just think about you and the boys and it gives me strength to hold on and continue.  You’re one of the very few things/people that make me happy. So thank you for that.  I don’t exist in your world and I guess I never will but I want you to know you mean the world to me, Niall. 🙂 

Plus, you proved that boys can wait for true love, and it’s not just the other way around. Don’t worry, your princess is out there. (No actually if your princess doesn’t show up in 5 years tops, I will  volunteer to be your future girlfriend or even future wife. I’m not even kidding.)

Beautiful one, beautiful boy. Hypnotized by your beautiful eyes.

Again, happy happy happy birthday, Nialler. I’m so proud of you and the boys. I’m gonna meet you someday, I can feel it. 😉 Oh and when we do meet, can I have a hug? I’ve always wanted a Horan Hug. Nah, on second thought I will climb you like a tree…. I love you xxx

P.S: t wrked buddy. 😉

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Whatever September

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September started out bad for me. But better days are coming. I can feel it. I can already smell season premiers and autumn /even though we don’t have autumn here in the Philippines/ lol.

But until then, here’s a playlist. Enjoy xx

Youth by Daughter

Shake by The Head and The Heart

1983 by Neon Trees

Diane Young by Vampire Weekend

New York by Snow Patrol

Flawless by The Neighborhood

Panic Cord by Gabrielle Aplin

Just Not Each Other by William Fitzsimmons

Wherever You Will Go by Charlene Soraia (Cover)

Inside Of Love by Nada Surf

In My Life by The Beatles

You Belong To Me by The 88

This Thing About You by Miracle Fortress

Hey Beautiful by The Solids (Included this bc HIMYM 9 in a few days)

Hot by Avril Lavigne

We Can’t Stop by Miley Cyrus

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Wake Me Up When September Ends

Okay so um I wanted to post a playlist tonight but nah. I wanted to post a survival guide because I watched This Is Us awhile ago but nahhh.

Okay wait, back story. My cousin and I watched This Is Us awhile ago. Around 12:15 we were already in the cinema and I had this feeling. I was nervous but I didn’t know why. Then minutes later, my mom texted my cousin since I left my phone. She said my grandfather passed away. And fuck I was like “Shit what do we do?” and I was literally having a panic attack right before the movie because I was fucking torn between leaving the cinema and going to the family house to just say goodbye and staying there to watch the movie. But it was too late, I guess. We asked my mom what to do and she said to stay and finish the movie. And my cousin and I were like okay. So yeah we watched the movie.

Another back story. This one is the creepy part. Yesterday my cousin went here to hang and stuff. She was making kwento about my grandfather who was already weak. Technically, they knew the “deadline” was near. Suddenly, I had goosebumps.

I recalled the last “major” death of the family. It was 9 years ago. My great grandmother. But of course she died because of cancer so I recalled my other Lolo who died 10 years ago also because of diabetes. My cousin JJ, was 16 when he died. Her younger sister was 15. The youngest in the family that time was me and my cousin (the one who watched This Is Us with me) we were 5 and 6, respectively. Back to present time, I am already 15. My cousin is 16. One of the youngest in the family is my Jj’s child, is already 6. Coincidence? I think not.

Another story that also happened last night, I went online and when I was scrolling down I saw the story of Billie Joe Armstrong; when he wrote “Wake Me Up When September Ends”. The vocalist of Green Day. Apparently his father died September 1, 1982. At that point, I was already freaking out. I immediately logged out from Facebook and just watched Teen Wolf. Just before I played Episode 2, there was this rooster from my neighbor’s house who made “tilaok” (wtf I don’t know how to explain but the animal made it’s sound okay)  and it made that sound twice. I don’t usually freak out when they do that but it was 12 midnight. Roosters/chickens don’t do that? They usually make “tilaok” during dawn. And yeah I was about to pee in my pants that time, so I decided to go to bed. I was just being paranoid.

When I was in bed like it was already 1 in the morning, there were 2 ambulances that passed by and I was like shit? another sign?  So yeah I was so scared I decided to sleep and just forget everything I thought that day.

And then, boom. It happened. I don’t really know if that was a sign from my grandfather that he was going “home” today. But I have a feeling, it was because probably he knew I believed in signs. So he made sure he said goodbye through signs (that may or may have not freaked me out a bit)

To be honest, I’m not that close to my grandfather. I don’t know why tho. One of the regrets I will always have in life is that I didn’t even say “I love you” to him once. I never said “goodbye”, not even when I come and visit them. No wait, maybe I have but it was a long time ago… but still. When I look back on what I have done in the future, I know that would be included in my regrets in life.

So Tatay, wherever you are right now, I just want to say that I love you. I really do. Obviously, I wouldn’t be here if it weren’t for you. So I owe you an awful whole lot for giving life to my mom and somehow to me. I’m sorry I never said goodbye. I’m sorry we weren’t that close when I was growing up. I hope you forgive me. I’ll miss you though. Your “Laki laki mo na” line whenever you see me and whenever my dad’s around (during Christmas) you would say to him “Lumalaki na siya” with a smile even though I was near.

Probably we have memories (like small talks) when I was younger that I couldn’t remember. But yeah, thanks for that too. Oh and Tatay, if it was you sending all those signs yesterday and last night, I’m still a little bit freaked out by it and I guess I would carry that for the rest of my life but thanks for making those. I was starting to not believe in signs anymore, but you changed that again. I guess if you didn’t give those signs, it would’ve been more emotional for me to accept that you went home today. We love you and we will miss you. See you again up there, soon. 🙂

May you rest in peace. ✌✞

“As my memory rests
But never forgets what I lost
Wake me up when September ends” 

[P.S I’m going to post the monthly playlist + other posts I have planned some time this week. Before I go I leave you with this saying “Live life for the moment because everything else is uncertain”]

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